Control lili

pain

Two weeks after that night with Jennie

The Night after the accident with Jennie happened lisa never have heart to ever crossed her path with Jennie.

Whenever She touched her lips it just felt disgusted and nothing more.Jennie crossed every limit between them that night.

Lisa felt violated and disgusted every time she think about Jennie.She sure unconditional loved Jennie one time but after that night She felt rage for Jennie than anything.

For blackpink career lisa Did not let Rośe to complained about Jennie to yg but three of them decided to ignore Jennie for mean time.

Jisoo when she heard the news from rośe about what happened that night was total blow up.

Jisoo throws jennie's things from their rooms and order her to find another room.

Lisa wanted to erase the touch of jennie's from her body that's why lisa started the random hook ups for every night now.

It's her third day of coming home at the morning like this.
She hoped nobody would be awake when she came back. That would have been the most awkward walk of shame in the history of lisa's random hookups, which she has had her fair share of.

But since luck never seemed to be on her side, as soon as she turned the keys in the lock and opened the door, careful not to make any noises, she found Rosè sitting on the sofa. A not so pleased look on her face.

Lisa froze in her place, the blonde glaring at her intensely.

When she realized she had nothing to feel guilty for, she got back to what she had come there to do: take a shower, an aspirin and go straight back to bed.

But as soon as she took a step forward, Rosè was in front her, blocking her. She had tried to get at least a couple hour of sleep. But between jisoo snoring and her relentlessly worrying about where lisa could possibly be, she hadn't been able to.

"where have you been? You could have at least let me know that you were leaving". The blonde asked. Even though she hadn't intended to come off as angry, she was sure the harshness and tiredness of her voice had sold her off.

"I met a girl, name's jiun. She was pretty cool so I stayed at her place"

Rosè's eyes widened when she noticed the hickeys on her best friend's neck.

"Did you two.. you know... was she?" She didn't even know what she was asking.
Of course they fucked, Rosè, you are so dumb, the blonde scolded herself mentally for the dumb question.

"No Chaeng, we played chess at four in the morning! What are you, five?" She then added, " Plus, I don't get where all these questions about my personal life are coming from, you were the one who said I should distance myself from jennie's business. That should imply no nosy questions too, or does that concern only me?"

Lisa knew she wasnt playing fair by using the Rośe trust but at the moment she didn't care, she just wanted to go to bed and forget about the head ache that she currently had.

" That's not what I meant!" Rosè sounded desperate.

" Whatever, I'm going to sleep" lisa said, before pushing past the blonde and retreating to her room.

But rośe was not having lisa's way anymore.

"You're not going anywhere lisa!!!
You're coming with me and speak to me that what is really going on with you lis?"

Chaeyoung just grabbed lisa's hands and signalled lisa to sit on couch and start speaking.

"It's hard chaeng.
It's getting too much hard for me to figure out what is really going up with me.
This disgust and that night event just makes me more restless.
I can't erase her disgusting taste of her on my lips chaeng.
Whenever I took shower and started to rub soap around my hands those bruises just makes me frightend.
Did I made her demon chaeng?
She never was like that right?
Did I made her that mad that she ve to treated me like that much?
Am I really responsible for her change?

I am not feeling myself around anymore chaeng.
I can't even met my grampy at his last moments chaeng.
I don't think I can handle this much pressure anymore chaeng.
I want time out."

Lisa's eyes were bloodshot but tears were merely seen in her eyes.chaeyoung just silently listens to lisa's words because she knows lisa needs to be heard right now.

"I am trying really hard chaeng I am.But whatever I do people will have space to complained and hate about me.
I am working so hard for this solo but the pressure of expectation just bringing me down.
And that night when Jennie was treating me like that I break it even more.I just feel worthless and feel like I maybe deserved that.
I really wanted to runaway home chaeng...
I feel like everything I do was just nothing.
This place doesnot feels home anymore...
This country doesnot seem my dream anymore chaeng.
I feel like I am tied with people's judgement.
I feel hopeless chaeng...."

Lisa's tears were slowly went through her cheeks.chaeyoung wanted to tearing apart with lisa too.But she knows lisa needed to be heard not a crybuddy.

Other side of door jisoo was hearing every pain of lisa.She never did cried infront of her member but tears were beaming through her eyes listening how much pain her maknae was taking.

Jisoo ran across lisa and hugged her tight.chaeyoung cannot stop herself she joined the hug and tighten it.

"But for us without you there won't be Any home.
Without you there won't be Any dream.
Without you there won't be happiness.
My dear maknae."

Jisoo cracked up.The trio cried together that night.Maybe sharing pain will lesser the impulsiveness.