Exposed Truth | Jeon Jungkook

Chapter 30

Jungkook || Wednesday, June 24

I want to fix things and make them go back to normal. I feel so hopeless. I failed to save Yuri from death and I've failed Nari so many times. Why am I so weak?

Being trapped here is causing so many emotions to resurface. I'm not sure how to feel. Should I be upset, or should I be angry? I don't know how to take in the fact that Yuri's death was not a suicide. It feels like a slap across the face. I feel like I've moved on from her, but now the aching in my chest is back. Never would I have expected her death to be caused by something like this, it was entirely different from what I had initially imagined.

I've never really come to acknowledge this, maybe because I've buried it so deep inside of me. Maybe I just don't want to face the truth. Deep down I've always had a hunch that Yuri was seeing someone before me and she's never really let go of him. She never told me about him, but I saw it in her actions. I saw the way she would stare at her phone for hours with sad eyes, and she never told me or showed me what she was looking at, and I never asked her because I didn't find a need to.

I've always felt this, but now I'm willing to admit that whenever we were on dates, she was never really focused at the moment; she always seemed to be drifting somewhere far away from me, yet I ignored it all because I trusted her. We've been childhood friends for so long, so I never doubted her.

Although I had a gut feeling she asked me to be her boyfriend only because she wanted somebody to comfort her and not because she had any special feelings for me. We had been friends for so long and I never wanted anything more for our relationship. I was comfortable with her as friends, so why would she suddenly ask to be my girlfriend? I should've thought about that. Was she just using me as a replacement for Ryan? It feels that way... It was stupid of me to believe that after some time of being a couple she would eventually fall in love. It was all just my wishful thinking.

I should've known all of this when we started to drift apart ever so gradually; I shouldn't have ignored the signs. We talked less and we saw each other less. I should've known sooner or I shouldn't have ever accepted in taking our relationship to the next level when I had a feeling that she wasn't being completely genuine, but I was just so naive and clouded by my happiness to see the truth. Only when Jennie tells me about Ryan, could I confirm my suspicions.

I'm not saying she didn't love me because I know she did, but it was just another kind of love. A love between friends. Her heart belonged to Ryan and her thoughts were filled with him. I think the reason why she was so willing to work at the nightclub was because of him, since she must've known he was somehow related to the gang.

After given some time to be deep in thought and process everything from the very beginning am I willing to accept the fact that our relationship was a mistake. Even though I loved her, she never truly loved me back. I didn't want to admit it then, but now I realise that we were better off as just friends. I knew that whatever we had wasn't right. That doesn't mean I don't love her, I still do. But it's not the same love I had for her before. Even though it hasn't been long, but being in this predicament has allowed me to see things more clearly.

---

I'm awakened from my thoughts and the silence breaks when we hear hurried footsteps coming from outside the door. Within seconds, the lock turns and the door opens. Ryan appears and he quickly enters the room as he rambles some incoherent things. I frown as he appears to be in a rush as he talks, his sentences not making any sense. I notice the sweat across his forehead and his hands shaking as he stands before us.

"Wait, slow down," Jennie interrupts him. "What are you saying? I don't think either of us can understand a single thing."

All our eyes are trained on Ryan when he sighs and stops talking to take in a deep breathe and say in a much calmer manner, "Jay left to do some business, but he took away my phone and all of your phones are locked somewhere, so there's no way for us to call anybody for help. I'm going to free you guys and escape this place until we find a phone booth to call for help."