Exposed Truth | Jeon Jungkook

Chapter 3

Nari || Saturday, June 6

Jungkook and I are staring at the TV before us, yet neither of us are focused on whatever is playing on the screen. My parents left this morning and Jungkook soon came over to accompany me. He doesn't look any better from the day before; he looks so worn out and his eyes are swollen from crying. I probably look worse. I cried myself to sleep last night and I haven't been eating much.

I feel so hopeless as I slump against the cushions and sigh. I wish I could do something for Yuri; I just want to get answers. I want to know exactly why she died. I miss her so much. I want her to tell me everything; I want to know every little detail about what happened. A tear slides down my face and Jungkook must've seen as he takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

He gives me a sad smile and says, "Do you want to talk?"

"Later," I say. "I'm going to take a nap."

I stand up to leave, but Jungkook grips onto my wrist and says with an encouraging smile, "But I want to talk to you. Don't bottle up your emotions, it'll make you feel better if we talk."

I know what he means, but I just can't bring myself to tell him how I'm feeling yet. I trust him and I know he's upset. But if we talk, I'm going to cry and I don't want to cry anymore. My body feels so heavy and I feel too exhausted to shed any more tears.

"I'm too tired to talk right now," I state and free my arm from his grip as I head into my room.

I flop onto my bed and huddle into a ball as I try my best to hold back my tears. I will myself to not cry as I shut my eyes tightly and cover myself with my blanket. I beg myself to stop thinking about my sister and I tell myself to just fall asleep, but it's not that easy.

I hear footsteps outside my room and the door quietly creaks open, yet I don't move and keep my eyes closed.

"Nari?" Jungkook whispers.

I don't respond and pretend to be asleep. I'm too tired to even utter a sound or to move. My body tenses when I feel the bed dip as he lays beside me and I feel him hesitantly wrap his arms around my body. I hear him whimpering softly and feel his cold tears through the thin fabric of my shirt as he nuzzles his head against my back. I stay still and relax into his embrace. His sobbing eventually stops and I sense his breathing becoming heavy. I let myself drift off to sleep as I feel so comforted and at peace from his steady heartbeat on my back.

---

When I wake up from my nap, Jungkook has already left my side. I trudge out of my room to see him cooking something in the kitchen. He turns around and smiles at me.

I smile back at him and ask, "What are you making?"

"Just some congee," he replies. "You've been asleep for around three hours, it's dinnertime now."

It makes me feel lighthearted to see him smiling after he was hugging me and crying just a while ago. I guess he thought I was asleep when he did that. I take a seat by the wooden dining table to wait for him to finish cooking. I watch as he pours the congee into two bowls and places one in front of me before taking a seat opposite me with his bowl. I stare at the bowl of steaming white congee and some chicken. Even though the food smells so good, I don't feel hungry at all.

Jungkook takes a big spoonful from his bowl and looks up at me as he chuckles, "Don't worry, I didn't add any poison. It's tasty."

"I'm just not hungry," I answer nonchalantly.

"Even if you're not hungry, you still need to eat. You'll feel better," he says and picks up my spoon for me and digs into the bowl of congee.

"Here," he raises the spoon of congee to my mouth and I just blink at him.

I hesitantly take a bite and chew slowly before nodding, "You're right, it's delicious."

I unconsciously take bigger spoonfuls as I eat and Jungkook laughs at me as I stuff myself with congee. I guess I was hungry after all and I do feel so much better after eating.

"I'm ready," I mutter.

"Hmm?" he looks at me quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"To talk," I explain. "I'm ready to open up about how I'm feeling."

Jungkook was right about feeling better after eating, so I suppose I should trust him about feeling better after talking too.

He smiles and asks, "Let's take a walk whilst we talk?"

I nod and watch as he hurriedly takes our empty bowls to the kitchen and quickly washes up the dishes.

---

We stroll under the night sky as the streetlights glow in the darkness. The street is silent besides the occasional chattering of people who pass by and the crickets that chirp quietly in the distance. Even though we're out here to talk, I'm suddenly so nervous to break the silence between us. It already feels so nice to be outside and breathe in the fresh air and to feel the cold breeze on my warm skin.

"I love her," Jungkook begins to say quietly and I just listen to him as we walk at a slow pace. "And I miss her so much."

I hear him sniffling and watch as he wipes away the tears that threaten to trickle down his face as he talks, "Sometimes I feel fine, but other times I feel so sad. I cannot believe that she's not here anymore, it feels so weird. I tell myself that I can't feel sad forever, and I feel fine and I manage to keep my emotions under control, but then I just feel so miserable again. I feel so guilty for being okay when she's away. I know she would want me to be happy and not feel bad about it, but I just can't help it... I want to be strong... but I feel so weak and useless that I just want to cry. I love her so much and I want to hold her so badly... she gives me strength..."

He stops walking and looks up to the dark sky as tears well up in his beautiful brown eyes.

"I love you, Yuri..." he smiles softly and mutters so quietly I almost don't hear him.

He breaks down into tears right at that moment and I intuitively hug his lean frame. He buries his head in the crook of my neck as he weeps. Tears begin to roll down my cheeks too as we hold onto each other tightly in the middle of the street.

"I'm sorry..." he mumbles and laughs lightly. "We're a mess, aren't we?"

I shake my head, "It doesn't matter. We can be weak and cry all we want, nobody can shame us for that."

He pulls away from me and we look at each other as we giggle at the dark circles beneath our eyes and our swollen tear-stained faces.

"I'm so glad I have you by my side," he says and ruffles the top of my head. "Then I don't have to be so lonely."

I grin at that and my heartbeat quickens as we continue to look into each other's eyes. Without thinking, I move closer towards him and press my hands on his firm chest. His smile fades when I glance at his lips and lean into his face. He quickly turns his face away from me and pushes me away. I instantly snap out of whatever trance I was in and immediately step away from him. My whole body heats up and my cheeks become hot. I bite onto my trembling bottom lip as I look down at the ground. I'm so stupid. I wish I could slap myself. How could I do something like that after he told me he loves my sister. I think I'm going insane.

"I'm sorry..." I say as my vision become blurry with tears. "I was just so lost in the moment... that I... that I forgot... I'm so sorry..."

He just sighs and doesn't say anything. He walks away from me and I watch as he moves farther away from me. I'm scared that he'll leave me alone here to cry by myself. I'm afraid that he's mad at me and won't ever want to see me again. I don't want my impulsive action to be the reason our friendship ends. With teary eyes, I stare at his back and watch as he eventually stops walking and he slumps his shoulders.