Stillness

Chapter 22

Sunday passed in a blur. She filled her friends in on what had happened, she lied and said Pomfrey wasn't allowing visitors though. She wanted to give him some space, let him recover and she didn't want to give him a chance to tell her he had meant everything he had screamed at her. She didn't see Blaise, Pansy, or Theo all day. She wondered if they were with him, she hoped they were, he shouldn't be alone.

She barely slept and far too soon it was Monday. They didn't have classes since Christmas was soon, but Hermione wandered down to the common room early anyway. She sat and watched the fire dance in the hearth until Harry sat on the couch beside her.

"Hey." He said gently and Hermione tried to smile at him but it came out more of a wince.

"I don't know what to do, Harry." She whispered, leaning into his side.

"I don't know Malfoy well at all, but I know he cares for you Hermione, everyone can see that. I can't tell you why he did this, he might not even know himself honestly, but he's going to need help now more than ever." He said, placing his arm around her shoulders gently.

"How can I help him when he doesn't want me to?" She said, her voice catching in her throat.

"The same way you always helped me. This is the moment for you to turn back, Hermione. No one will fault you if you do." Harry told her softly.

"I had time to turn back. I don't think I can now." She whispered as the tears finally fell.

Hermione managed to pull herself together by the time the Weasleys appeared. They made their way down to the Great Hall to eat. Hermione didn't have an appetite but she piled food on her plate so Ginny wouldn't worry. Everyone else was finishing up when Pansy sat across from Hermione.

"Have you seen Draco?" Pansy asked, stealing a grape off her plate.

"Has he asked to see me?" Hermione snapped back.

"We'll see you in the common room." Harry said quickly, pulling the Weasleys out of the hall.

"Granger, he's not going to ask for you." Pansy said. "But you should go see him."

Hermione sighed as she pushed her food around her plate. Pansy was right, she should go see him. She knew what he was doing, had known as it happened, but the words he chose to use still hurt. He had echoed what her boggart had taunted to her, he had known how to go right for her heart. She wondered if he regretted it at all but she wouldn't ever truly know until she faced him again.

"Of course we all know you're going to do whatever the hell you want either way." Pansy continued before suddenly jumping up. "Mrs. Malfoy!"

Hermione spun in her seat to see Narcissa approaching them. Pansy bowed her head slightly as the older woman smiled at her.

"Hello, dear." Narcissa said, patting Pansy's shoulder.

"Sit!" Pansy said, her pureblood etiquette training kicking in as she waved at the bench beside Hermione.

Pansy waited until Narcissa was seated before taking her own again. Her eyes darted to Hermione for a breath before she turned back to Narcissa.

"Been to see Draco?" Pansy asked.

"Yes." Narcissa sighed, "My poor boy. The Ministry ordered a healer up from Mungo's. They're meeting with him now. On top of this mess with Lucius and everything having been transferred to Draco. He's not ready."

Hermione could hear the stress in her voice and her heart went out to the woman. Draco was right, she had no idea what being a pureblood truly entailed.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Malfoy." Hermione said and Narcissa turned to her for the first time.

"The fact that you can say that with true sincerity proves you are a good woman." She said with a sad smile. "Thank you, Miss Granger."

"Oh!" Hermione said. "I didn't think you would know me."

"Draco has written about you." Narcissa murmured.

"I'm really not that bad." Hermione mumbled, she could only imagine the things Draco had told his mother about her over the years and Pansy laughed.

"Neither is he." Narcissa assured her.

Narcissa smiled at her and for the first time Hermione saw Draco's resemblance to her. She was horrified when her eyes started to burn but the way the smile softened Narcissa's face reminded her of how Draco's softened when he smiled at her.

"The healers will be done with Draco in about a half hour." Narcissa told her softly.

Hermione nodded and excused herself. She sat in front of the doors of the hospital wing, waiting. Pomfrey had locked them, so no one could overhear Draco's meeting with the healers. Finally after what felt like hours but was really only 20 minutes the doors opened. Hermione watched the healer leave, trailed by two aurors. It hadn't occurred to her that aurors would get involved, she had actually managed to forget he was marked.

With a shaky breath she stepped into the ward, seeing him from where he was propped up on his bed down the hall. He was staring down at a leather bound journal, fiddling with the clasp for it. He hadn't noticed her yet and Hermione realized she had never truly seen him off guard. His unguarded eyes looked lost, his mouth turned down in the corners, everything about him just looked sad.