The Other Rogers

Chapter 44

It had been six days since the battle against Thanos in Wakanda; six days since she had lost her love. She had done nothing in the past six days; she hadn't uttered a single word; her lips may as well have been sewn together.

Curled up in the bed or on the couch staring out through the window, she would always see James' smiling face reflected back at her; but he was never there.

At night she laid there imaging his voice, calling out to her, asking her to join him. He never told her, always asked. To be with him was the only thing she wanted, the only thing she dreamed of.

Anya was surprised she had anymore tears to be shed, her eyes glazed over from the onslaught of them.

She didn't see anyone; preferring to be left alone. The only person she wanted was gone forever, and there was nothing she could do even with her powers to bring him back.

What hurt the most was the fact that she never got the chance to say goodbye to him. She had heard him; heard him cry out to her, his goodbye reached her mind even if his voice couldn't reach her ears.

She heard his farewell, heard his last 'love you' but he was gone before she had the chance to respond, before she could speak telepathically.

All that was left of him by the time she reached him was ash, it littered the earth, leaving behind the reminder of a fighter who had prayed that it was his last.

Well James got his wish, but she hadn't. She had wished that they would die together from old age or if worst came to worst, holding hands on a dying battlefield.

She never should have left him to fight alongside Steve; she should never have gone with Natasha.

That woman could hold her own, not saying that James couldn't- but she did wish she told Steve to fight with Natasha.

But James had wanted to fight his hopefully last battle beside his friend, the friend he had promised to be with till the end of the line. That was their thing, "I'm with you till the end of the line", but it was nothing but a lie.

They were still there, and he wasn't. Aware of how selfish she was being, her heart began to ache for all the others that had perished; Wanda, T'Challa, Shuri, Vision.

Even Sam had perished.

Others were lucky enough to survive, but with the pain she felt, Anya had to wonder if they were in fact lucky.

Steve at least had Natasha, but from what she had heard Clint had lost his entire family, Thor had lost his brother at the hands of Thanos before the snap.

Even the pirate was gone.

Fury, if anyone didn't deserve it, it was him. Despite what everyone said about him, he was a caring and selfless person; a firecracker when needed but ever since she and James resurfaced those years ago, he had adopted her, showing her the love she had missed since her own father had passed.

Screaming she threw the lamp from the side of the bed into the wall, watching it smash with a grim expression.

The pain that devoured her continued to burn. Her thoughts hadn't given her a moment to breath. She couldn't drown out the sounds of them, the voices, the cries of lost souls and with the inability to get drunk she turned to music.

But even that didn't work, all the songs that played just reminded her of what they lost, and that Thanos had won.

"Here's to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not

'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories

Of everything we've been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way