Gang Of Nothing

Chapter Seven

Tacenda:
things better left unsaid; matters to be
passed over silence

Hemera

How did I manage to go a whole lesson without caring that one of my old friends was in the same room as me and I didn't even care. For the first time I didn't even care about her or anyone. Thats actually reviling But that feeling didn't last for too long and on the way back to my looker my phone buzzed like crazy. So I had to look at it, cause it wouldn't stop. I was tagged in a photo from someone with a really weird username on instagram. I go into instagram and the photo I'm tagged in. Holy fricking cow, that's a picture of me from Zoes old account and that not he worst. Even if it a picture of me and Zoe smiling the comments make me look like a real psychopath. Murderer , she killed her, how could they be friends they where so different, liar, she have come back to kill more, liar, monster, murderer. I thought I have been used to those comments, but clearly not and every comment is from different people or different accounts. I look up from my phone and it feels like everyone around me is looking at me. Their eyes are staring at my soul and it gives me a bad feeling. Where is the nearest bathroom and when I see it I go for it. 

Okay, don't cry. Just don't cry whatever you do, don't cry. Thats a scentes I have told myself for the last year and honestly it was easy until I came back. Everyone have lost faith in me, everyone thinks I killed Zoe and soon I just want it to have been me. After one of the doors to one toilet opens I stop myself and honestly I don't really know what I said. In front of me stod Hedone and in the next I'm walking out of the bathroom. What did we talk about? Did we talk about anything? Shit I said I would go to he party at Friday and now I have to. 

Friday afternoon and our parents have left to go to grandma and grandpa. Me and Griffin said we wanted to stay at home this weekend cause it's the first weekend after school started. Mom gave me a look before agreeing if Griffin was the one driving if we where driving anywhere. That they trusted me enough to have me in a house without a babysitter is like a miracle. But on the other hand Griffin will be with me everywhere I go and sometimes he will be a pain in the ass. But right now I don't really have other friends than his, so I will be by his side. Black skirt, purple tank top in satin, black oversized jeansjacket och purple sneakers. I don't recognize the person I am in the mirror and I don't think anyone else does as well. Might at least play the part as someone else, but I like how I look and I might start looking like this too. I take my phone from the charger, my earrings and goes down to the hall to put on the purple sneakers. 

"Come on hot dog or I will leave without you" I shout to my brother as he runs down the stairs. 

"Sure, if you take the car mom will kill you and I don't think you want that" Griffin shouts at me when running down the stairs. 

If you knew. Oh, dear brother if you just knew. But you know nearly everything off that went down last year and the fact that you are speaking of death with me are a wonder. Even if death are a thing that people speak of daily, in this family they stop talk about it. They ignore it like it is a disease. Maybe it is, it happens to everyone. Okay, maybe not the Queen of England, cause she seems immortal and I will be choke if she can die. But my family can't bring death up in my presence anymore, bees of hat happened last year.

"Then catch" I say, show him a smile and he buys it. 

Driving to Mikels house is pretty easy or at least for me, cause I have been there to countless partys over the years. He is in the same year as me, because he needed to re-do a year because of his grades. But that just means another year to be at his partys. Griffin is the one who drives and I don't think he has been there many times. We drive slower and he checks the names of the streets every time we are about to pass them. The closer we come, the more you hear the music that pumps out from the speaker and easier for Griffin to drive to the house. We step out of the car and walk into the big ass house that Mikels parents own. His parents are one of the richer people in this town and that makes his home into a mansion. When we go trough the door it's like nothing have change and I'm still who I was all this time ago. People are standing with drinks in their hands and talking or flirting with the person besides them in the white hall. Some people are sitting in the big stair that leads to the second and third floor. People ar living or coming behind us, so we make the way to the living room. In here everyone are either drinking or talking. Griffin turns to me, before looking around. 

"Are you going to hang with me the whole night or what?" he asks. 

"No, I'm just gonna go and find my old friends you know" I answer with sarcasm.

Isaac, Conan and some of Griffins other friends comes up to us and starts to talk to Griffin. Isaac shoot one of his flirtatious smiles at me. Well this is going to be fun, if he drinks even more than he already have. If I remember correctly he gets a bit flirty with everyone when he has drink anything.

"Heyyy, baby" Isaac says and hugs me.

Yup, he is defiantly smelling of some liquor. I push him away as I answer him and look over at a concerned Conan.

"I'm not your baby" 

"You will someday"

"Keep on dreaming that. It will never happen" 

Isaac backs off a bit and now Conan dosen't look that concerned anymore. But Griffin on the other hand seems like he is going to be keeping an extra eye on Isaac for awhile. It's nothing new really, but he gets a lot more flirty with everyone when he has had a drink or two or three or more. The group starts to talk about random things I have no clue about or care about so I just stand there and listen. I don't mind, as long I can be there with them and not alone. 

"Do you wanna get a drink with me?" Conan ask and look at me.

So my brother haven't said to anyone that I don't drink. This will be fun to explain or get out of this situation without having to answer any questions afterwards why I don't drink. Cause Griffin are not drinking, because he is the one driving and you should never drink and drive. I open my mouth to answer but are interrupted by Mikels shouting loud into the room with his drink spilling on the floor. He's going to have fun cleaning everything up tomorrow. 

"Everyone likes good old, truth or dare. I'm I right" 

The people around us cheers and can't hide a childish smile. Of course they will play truth or dare, it's a basic game and sometimes you learn a thing or two about someone. Both me and Conan have completely forgot about the drink when the crowd starts to move. Everyone follows Mikel into a bigger room with much more space. When I look at Mikels again I see that he as his house haven't change a bit. He s still the skinny, tall boy with brown curls that plays lacrosse. The fact that he is so skinny and never broken a bone is unbelievable, but I guess the padding helps with that when playing lacrosse. 
Some rounds go and most of the people that gets asked takes dare. Mostly because they only have to drink someone else's drink or just take a shot of some weird kind. And Im just happy no-one have asked me yet. So I just chat a bit with Conan who stands besides me, because my brother have disappeared into the crowd of people. Well I know he won't be far away since he is technically my babysitter this weekend. A guy in the crowd that clearly are the one who will aske the questions next look around the room. He is a bit drunk and laugh when looking for his target. He stops and look directly at me. 

"Hey you" the guy says looking at me.

"Oh, no. I don't play" 

"You are here, so know you are"

"Fine"

It seems like I don't have a choice. But on theater hand everyone seems in a happy mood so I can probably do whatever they say. Most of the people here have done something to embarrassing tonight so it doesn't matter if I do something too. It might be fun after all. 

"Truth or dare?"

Okay, most of those dares have been to drink anything and I can't do that. If I don't drink they will ask and then they will have other things to say behind my back. Everyone knows I was at a lot of partys before and did drink til I nearly blacked out. The only thing I can chose is truth and hopefully it will just be something childish they might ask. 

"Truth" I say with confident.

Alcohol. The room is smelling like alcohol from the teenagers cups and they might not remember this night tomorrow. Hopefully they are too drunk to really have anything to say. I spot Hedone in the crowd and suddenly I'm not that brave anymore, like a toke a step back from where I am and I think she can feel it to. But his question makes me forget about anyone I the room. 

"Did you kill Zoe?"

There is no trace, that he was once drunk and he no longer has a smile on his face. No-one and I mean no-one dares to say a word. Everyones eyes is on me, but I don't have any oxygen left in my lungs to answer. Are they fucking kidding me right now?