Gang Of Nothing

Chapter Five

Lacuna;
a blank space, a missing part

Hedone

I know things might not have been good between us for awhile and I was actually surprised when Fariha come up to me earlier. We don't talk like before or we don't really talk at all now days. I never image that the thing she would whisper in my ear that would make my heart stop. Hemera is back. I didn't know that and I should have known that. She become a ghost for a year and now shows up from nowhere. I thought she had left this place for good. But I was wrong, so, so wrong. 
When she walked into the classroom with that boy, I don't know he's name and I know nearly everyones name in this school. Or he hasen't been important before now, maybe that's why I don't know his name. But she was happy, she was actually laughing with him and she never even looked at me once when stepping into the classroom. I'm I jealous? I can't be, right? She even sits beside him in class and I notice I'm not he only one looking at her. People used to look at me that way before they heard Hemera moved away. They are blaming her for Zoes death, I'm just happy they aren't blaming me. 

"Earth to Hedone" someone says besides me and waving her hand infront off my eyes. 

My heads turn around, even if I'm not done looking at Hemeras way. But I turn my head and sees that Alice is on the chair next to me. I didn't notice that she sat down, but I should have, I mean you just don't miss that she enters a room. Her aura just screams attention or it might be that she is really beautiful. She has raven black hair and fair skin. She is well lack of a better word petit, but her mood always make up for it. Alice is a lovely person.

"What?" I ask her.

"Did you hear anything of what I just say" Alice say to me.

She have a bit of an accent and I can't blame her. English is not her first language, she might not have been old when she came her, but sometimes her accent slips out in some words. She is half japaness.  When she asked that question she really sounded like Zoe, not as harsh as her but there was something in that voice.

"Probably not" I say and my eyes wonders back to Hemera.

"I asked you if..." Alice starts and follow my sight.

"Isn't that the girl, Hemera or something. Your old friend?" she ask me.

"Old friend" I repet.

It't really strange to call her that since we share so many memories. For a year I pretended she was dead. Well I know she wasn't dead at least. I unfollowed her on instagram and all of the other places you can think of. But sometimes my curiosity toke over and I looked if she had an open instagram. One time she actually made her profile open and she had re-done everything. She had removed all of her old photos of herself, all photos of us four together and everything that would show the word who she once where. I actually become sad, we where friends and now everything we shared was gone. From time to time I checked her instagram and she made new friends that came up in the flow. Even if I'm sad about it, I can see that what ever happened she become confident without us and she is another person sitting with that boy. She is no longer our flower. She become a flower without our help. 

"She seems nice and If she is hanging with Conan she probably made an impression. But on the other hand he gives anyone a chance" 

"Conan?" 

"Yeah, the boy she is sitting next to. He is kinda popular, well he at least know a lot of people like all over the country and that might be kinda weird actually" Alice continue.

When she is thinking she makes a cute weird face and she dose that a lot. Okay, I don't say she is dumb, it just takes longer time for her to get to the point everyone else is. If she only gets a little more time she will have better grades than at least half of the class. 
The Spanish class starts and we stop to talk, well just until we can star work individual and then we start to talk. Not necessary about the questions we need to answer, but about the party someone in our year are hosting this Friday evening or night. Depends on how long you are staying at it. After I put y books in my looker, I go straight to the bathroom and go into a stal. Lock the door and sits down on the toilet. I don't need to pee, I just need a place where I can be alone for a sec. 

My phone are buzzing with sms from my parents. So they have stop talking to each other again, wonder how long they are doing that. Sometimes its hours, days or months. I really stop caring if they are or not. They are adults but I have to meditate between them and its starting to annoy me. Specially when you are their only kid and the only one who can keep up with their endless arguments. I turn the notifications off so I can look at a photo undisturbed for just a minute. We took those photos a long time ago and I'm not talking about my parents. I'm talking the the two of us, me and Zoe. Fariha was taking the photo and I don't know where the hell Hemera was. We called her like hundred times, but she never answered. Okay, she did in the middle of the night and I don't know what either of us said. In the photo Zoe looks at the camera and I am looking at her. She sun is going down and coloring the sky pink. Thats probably my favorite photo of the two of us together and it's hurting that she isen't her with us today. That she can't gossip and talk about partys like we used to. 

The quietness disappear when the door to the bathroom opens and someone comes in. Okay, I can't be in here for any longer. The girl out there might wonder I might do if I don't flush the toilet. So I do, n lock the lock and opens the door. It takes every muscle in my body to not turn around and go into the stal again when I see who it is. She is washing her hands and I can see that they are shaking when she turns off the water. It's not too late to run out of here, she haven't looked into the mirror yet and seen me. Shit, she meets my eyes in the mirror and her blue eyes mirrored fear. She swallows before she takes some paper to dry her hands. After some seconds she turns around and opens her mouth.

"Hi"she says quiet.

I haven't seen her in so long and when she is standing here infront of me I can't come up with anything to say. I literally had conversations with myself of what I would say if I ever meet her again. But I can't come up with a singel scenens that would make sense or?

"There is a party at Mikels on Friday, you should come" 

The words slips out of my mouth and I didn't even say hi. Is this really all I could say to her. She looks at me surprised but then it disappears fast and she gives me a fake smile. 

"Sure, I see you there" she answers and leaves the bathroom.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Im an idiot. Why could I not at least say hi to my old best friend. Why couldn't I yell or scream or just say anything else then that. But she didn't say anything either and that hurts. I understand she would not just tell me about why she moved and come back the first thing she did to me. But I wonder and that might be a problem. Maybe she will be drunk enough on Friday to tell me, maybe I will be drunk enough to ask her that or just forget all of this.