Gang Of Nothing

Chapter Fifteen

Eesome:
pleasing to the eye

Fariha

Preyers are not something I usually do, but I am a believer in higher powers and that makes the things happening in my life a little bit easier to understand. Well I lost more of my faith after I become good friends with Zoe, Hedone and Hemera. Thats not a bad thing, when you grow older you get an understanding of what you need in life and with them I didn't need life to be better. I mostly have faith right now because my family are believers and that's a part of who I am. One thing is sure, even if I lose every bit of faith I will always be proud of having been a part of it all. 
There is one thing that makes every little thing I do feel like a betray to my family even though if I talked to them it would be okay. I won't talk about it so I leave it there, so for be there is a bit of shame behind Steven though I am my own person in this world. When I hurry or more described by others walking much faster then I normally do, though the corridors I spot all the differences  between the schools students as I push the last piece of fabric in my sports bag. When I come to my looker I do everything faster then normally. Why? My guess is that is a day like that. Im on the edge of my feelings today, very life philosophizing. Is that a correct word? In the cover of my eye I see the blue hair before I hear her speak. Of course she dyed her hair yesterday. Sometimes Pila gets a breakdown, she then cry, what's her comforter movie and then dyes her hair in whatever color she has home. 

"Do you think she would like me more if I looked different?" Pila ask while twirling a bit of blue hair between her fingers. 

"Who?"

"Your frenemy, you know the girl with red hair and the name Hemera" 

I sight loud and roll my eyes so they might pop out of my head. Every time Hemera comes up as the topic of conversations I get annoyed and it's getting exhausting. Why can't people just move on with their life and not romanticize people who are evicted for a crime. I shut my looker hard and turn to Pila

"Honestly I don't care much of the time of who you like, but if your taste are girls who murder one of their best friend. Then maybe, maybe you should rethink your options. Cause this time it hit an all time low" I say nearly shocked how harsh it came out. 

Pila look at me hurt and I know I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Her expression has darkened and she stand up straight.

"Then maybe you should take cover. If one is gone why not come after the rest" Pila says with no lies the sentence she just told and leave me by my looker. 

I bang my head slowly against the lookers and regret every decision I have made in life. Blaming Pila for something she can't help won't do anything better. But right now my hatred against Hemera are on the edge of tipping over. The glas of water are nearly overfull and another drop will it overflow. Come on Fariha, you aren't emotional, act normal. So I do. I straighten myself and take my heads up. I am proud of who I am and mistakes are made to be done. I make my way to the lesson I'm about to have in 5 minutes. As I try to walk with everyone else who are trying to be on time to their classes I spot a familiar face. Hedone's siluett leaning against the looker is something everyone else could be doing, but not quit like her. She is the party queen and there no-one who dosen't know that. So seeing her hangover in school is not odd, but the look on her face is making me nervous. She is staring down at her phone like someone have died. No, no-one is dead. If someone would have died she would look sad and cry. Right now she looks scared. I'm being swept away forward I lose sight of Hedone in the crowd of students. 

During the day I find myself thinking back to the days when I had different friends to sit with during lunch. With Pila ignoring me and I'm thanking myself for that I sit with the rest of my team. The team in question is basically the girls who are doing some sort like track and field. We have or own table in the cafeteria, far away from the entrance. Why we got just that table are a bigger question then who we really are. Cause we are always the person's who are going back and fourth to practice or anything like that. 

A blonde and a brown haired girl are making there way to me at the table. Hedone are talking about something loud and really fast that even if you heard her you would not know about what. That makes Hedone good with gossip and Zoe is a good listener when it comes to gossip. As they sit down I look behind for the fourth person in our quartet. But I see no sign of Hemera in the whole cafeteria. 

"Don't bother, we haven't seen her since Spanish " Zoe says without looking up from her plate of food. 

"That was three hours ago" I say and Hedone shrugs her shoulders. 

"We know" Hedone says and starts to eat her food. 

Even without our fourth we managed to eat our own food at lunch and talked like it was no other day. Like Hemera hadn't just dispersed and she was just sick. 

We where at least always tow eating lunch at the same time. Sometimes one of us had something other during lunch and needed to attend a club meeting or practices in some sort. I had my all of my practices, Hedone could attend tutoring in math or something like that, Zoe was in the student council and Hemera. Well she could be in all different of artistic things, like drama or orchestra or a band or set up lights on stage. Things that where linked to a stage. But she could also just be missing for a big part of the day and then come back the last lesson or the next day with a bad excuse. 

"Earth to our future track star. Friday snap out of it" a voice shout in my left ear.

I turn around and face no other than Zara. She is the girl with the loudest voice in the world, so if you hear someone shouting besides the field, it's probably her. Well both for good and bad. Cause she will swear at you in nigerian if I say that correctly. 

"Friday here" I say out of pure reflex. 

"Finally, no practices today. Coach sick, she has the flu" Zara says and then continues to talk about whatever she talked about before. 

I don't know why the day felt like an eternity and like seconds in the same time. Maybe because I didn't hang out with Pila and kept my mind full of other thoughts. I will try to make amends with Pila, but not today and she knows it too. Call me selfish and insensitive but I protect myself. I have been feeling better without Hemera in my head. As I walk home from school since Pila was my ride, I empty my mind of every negative thoughts from today and fill it with good things. No practice, means more time home and that means more free time. A few blocks from home I stop and take out the fabric I put in my bag before school. The camra of my phone becomes the mirror and as good as I can out hear I put the fabric over my head and pin it. I watch myself in the camera, good enough, I can fix it at home. The I continue walk the remaining block and then up to our house. 

The whole house smells of moms vegetarian lasagna that she always makes on Thursdays. Lasagna was the first thing she made when she came to the US and I think she is holding on to that moment. That is a tradition I will always keep close to my heart. Before going to the rest of my family I go to the bathroom. I stand infront of the mirror and trying to put my hijab on properly. We have dinner guests, our neighbors and dad works with one of them. I put my phone on the sink, while I start to pick out the needles from the fabric and putting it on from the start. When the last needle is fits well enough my phone got a notice like on clock work. For a second I get startled since I never have the sound on and I don't think no-one has if they aren't waiting for something special. But I'm not eating on anything. Still a pitt startled I pick up my phone and look at the screen. There is a photo sent from an unknown number and sincerely that is very suspicious. But I'm curios so I open my phone and looks at the photo. The temperature in this room drops. 

"No, no, no, no" I say out loud.

"What is the matter habibi?" I hear my mother ask me from the kitchen.

Was I being that loud?

"Nothing, I just dropped the pin behind the cabinet" I lie.

"Okay, but hurry we have guests"

"Will do" i answer.

Even if every inch in my body want to delete the picture and block whoever sent me the photo I can't do it. This person got a photo of me taking of the hijab before school and then putting it back on before reaching my house. Those pictures was taken today, meaning I could have seen this person and that didn't bother me. The text is clear "Don't want your parents to know".