Gang Of Nothing

Chapter Nine

Phosphenes:
the colors or "stars" you see when 
you rub your eyes

Fariha 

Of all my years in school and every year on family gatherings I have learned a few things about life. Number one and the most important never stand out from the crowd. Then only exception is grades, always be better at everyone at everything and don't fail. But when the "normal" changes between home and school, what should you follow. What is the exception of fitting in, I can't do it on both places. At least not all the time, but I try my best. I am proud of who I am and where I came from. But there are people that look at me a different way if they see me in different clothes. I want my life to be pretty easy, but it's not and that's way I don't put myself into problems that's not my responsibility to solve. Pila have a habit of dragging me anywhere without me saying yes or no. And in this case I would probably have said no. I mean I don't want to talk to Hemera if I don't really have to and right now I don't see it like it is my problem. But it is Pilas problem in some way, cause it was her cousin Billys fault that she got upset. She drags me outside where see saw Hemera go and then she stops a bit from her. I don't want to be seen so I take a few steps back. 

"Sorry for my cousin" Pila says facing Hemera.

The small group of her and the two boys looks at her. Then the two boys looks at Hemera, she nods and they go there way a bit from us. Incase they needs to fight someone I guess. 

"It's not your fault" she answers and looks at Pila. 

In someway I think Hemera tries her best not to look at me and I'm doing the same. But she is better at that than I'm. I can see the frustration in her eyes about what Billy asked her, but I still doubt her a bit. She didn't say no or yes and that can mean so many things. I don't know if she made it worse for herself or not. But I need to remember that she left us and was very off the weeks after it happened. 

"Well kind of, but he will never say sorry and I don't want you to be mad at him. He don't think before he talks. Especially not when he is drunk" Pila says the last part with a bit of a laugh.

The problem is that Hemera does not see it as a joke and I can understand that. Cause she knows when people are telling the truth or are lying. She is the queen of secret keeping and has a master degree in  lies.

"I'm sorry" Hemera says with a straight face.

"What?" Pila asks surprised. 

"Sorry that you are related to a dickhead like Billy" 

Hemera turns and walks away from us. If I wasn't angry at her I would have laughed at the way she turned the conversation and literally made Pila lost her words. Okay, I don't really have high feelings for Hemera right now, but a part of me likes what she did those seconds ago. I mean, she have gotten some confident. 

"How, how did she? How did she know his name was Billy? I didn't say? That was hot" Pila says confused. 

Fast I walk up to Pila and put my hand on her shoulder to know that she is not dreaming. She turns and look at me confused. I really wants to laugh but my feeling evens out everything out and that makes me nearly numb. 

"Don't get a crush on her" I say.

"I see how the four of you could be friends. I mean everyone of you knows how to talk back"

"Trust me, she wasn't like that before" 

A blue kanken or it was blue long ago and the washed out jeans jacket is what she usually have on. She waits for one of us to meet her outside of school before she goes in. That is normal for her and us right know. I don't know why Hemera always waits outside even when it rains, but she says she wants company. A guy bumps into her as we make our way to our lookers.

"Watch where you going whore" the guy shouts at her.

But she says nothing and just walks besides me in silent.

"Why didn't you say something?" I ask her concerned.

"It doesn't matter" she answers. 

While Pila takes something to drink from the table, I take my cup and fill it with water from the tap. I don't feel like having soda right now, I might take some later and I have already had soda before. 

"How did she know Billys name?" Pila asks as she makes her way to me by the water tap. 

She is referring to how Hemera knew Billys name and I don't really understands why she ask that. It's a really simple question to answer and she doesn't know it. 

"Everyone knows your cousins name"

"How?"

"It's better if you ask him that question"

That is true and it is odd that she doesn't know how everyone knows about him. Especially since she don't like gossip, but somehow always seem to know everything. But how I know her cousin is because I have been in the same classes with him since the start of high school and he have been a total idiot to every teacher we have had. It's sad, because even if he treats every person with authority like they are nothing compared to him, he still get girls. Sometimes I wonder if those girls aren't blind, since he says comments that are not okay about us girls or just anyone that are not born a male. Then maybe it was faith that made Pila his cousin cause she is everything don't like. But he needs to be nice to her, because they are related. I will admit that he have become better to not shout slurs in the hallways, but he still have things to learn and in this case not to bring up the dead.
A bit into the living room I see a familiar face nearly being being eaten by one of the lacrosse players. I roll my eyes and let out a annoyed sound. How can she be making out with anyone at every party. Well at least she is starting to remember those things she do at the partys, before we  had to tell her who she made out with the day after. Okay, befor school so she knew before she made it awkward. I think his name is Camil, because I think he is friends with one of my cousins that are one year older. But it can also be Amir or is that Camil's younger brother. It's hard to tell when he is making out with Hedone in a dark room that only have small party lights in different colors. 

"If you want to try mouth to mouth, Minh is just over there. Hurry before he leaves" Pila says and gives me a push.

"Keep dreaming"

His black hair messy and he seems on edge. Minh never looks that down ever and he has a scared look on his face. It's like someone told him some awful news and he doesn't know how to process things. 

The red straight hair is falling over her shoulders, she is bitting her bottom lip as she makes her way close to the walls to the boy with black hair. She doesn't look directly at him and he is looking down at his phone. By accident or not she bumps into him and he drop his phone down at the floor. Fast she takes it up from the floor and smile at him. When she walks away he looks at her with a smile he hasen't have before. He is frozen with his phone staring the way she went even if she is long gone from the place. A group of boys comes up to him and it's by then he stops starring her way. 

Rubbing my eyes with my hands feels like a good ide until I stopped and looked around. Okay, I see more colors than I did before. But when my eyes have gotten used to the lights, Minh is nowhere to be find and I'm looking at a closed door.