Birchfall: Hello, and welcome to the first episode of the Birchfall show! We're going to give you a quick summary of the news in StarClan before the fun begins so...
Birchfall: The weather forecast for tomorrow is slightly cloudly with a chance of Jayfeathers. Yes, if you see Jayfeather please report it immediately to me for every cat's safety! We will arrest that mentally insane cat....
(A trap door in the floor opens and Lionheart's head sticks out of it.)
Lionheart: There are no prisons or police in StarClan! For the last time Birchfall.....
Birchfall: Can't you see I'm in the middle of the show?!?!?!? Anyhow, there's a five billion mice reward for capturing him...so to the fun part now! It's time to play the new sport I invented...Birchball!
Birchfall: Tonight's lucky contests are...Silverflame and Nightcloud!
(Silverflame, Nightcloud, and two monsters with donut guns on the top of them drop from the sky and land on the stage.)
Nightcloud: Ouch!!! Crowfeather, why did you make me do this?!?!?!?!?
Silverflame: I'm gonna win! I'm gonna be famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Birchfall: For those of you who don't know what Birchball is, I'll give you a quick explanation of the rules. Birchball is meant to be played on a large field or stage like this. It must have two or more cats participate. The aim of the game is to hit your opponent's monster with as many donuts as possible! Every time you hit your opponent's monster you get a point! And, I'm sure you can guess, whoever has the most points wins! The prize is something much better than 500,000 mice...
(Lionheart's head suddenly pops out of the floor again.)
Lionheart: Why do you call it Birchball if there's no ball?
Birchfall: SHUT UP LIONHEART AND GO AWAY!
Birchfall: Anyhow, the prize for toms is a jumbo jet!
Nightcloud: Aww, I want my own airplane, why do the toms always get all of the good stuff....
Birchfall: But the prize for she-cats is front row seats and a backstage pass to a One Direction concert, so you hear their music and actually meet them!
Nightcloud: Oh my great STARCLAN!!!!!! I SO WANNA WIN THAT!
Birchfall: Are you sure you don't want an airplane instead?
Nightcloud: NO! NO WAY! I WANNA MEET MY ONE DIRECTION!
Birchfall(smirking): I thought so...anyhow jump in your monster's and let's get started! There's one minute on the clock and it starts now!
(The two she-cats fire donuts at each other, most are way off target and a few come close to hitting each other's monsters but not appear to hit either monster.)
Birchfall: Time's up! The final score is: Silverflame: 0, and Nightcloud....1 point! Nightcloud wins!
Silverflame: AW! I'M NOT GONNA BE FAMOUS!
Nightcloud: Yes, I scored so many points! AND I GET TO MEET MY ONE DIRECTION! OH NIALL, I WANNA STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND DO IT ALL WITH Y-O-U!
Birchfall: That's all for now! Bye, and until next time, may the prey be plentiful and may Jayfeather not bother you....
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WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF SHADOWCLAN
FanfictionWelcome to the StarClan of the 21st century! Where cats from modern-day ThunderClan, whether warriors or medicine cats, can visit StarClan whenever they want to. Where cats build pizzerias and advertise their restaurants in books like this one. Wher...
