Alittle Too Gay

Jason

Talking to Christine had felt like a breeze, easing away the stress that had been plaguing him for months. She give him advice on how to go about his emotions, and how to handle stress in a much more healthy way. To say he was thankful for her would be an understatement.

Yet, there was something she said in particular that stuck with him. "Dude we're gonna be graduating soon. Our big exam is a couple of weeks from now, I hope you'll be able to come see us when it's over."
He bit the inside of his cheek. It's not like he didn't want to, but the thought of having to face Devin after so long, having to face himself and his emotions; it was all so overwhelming. He groaned, burying his head in his knees trying to focus on his music and not his obnoxiously loud mind. He also had to do his online exams the same time as them. He sighed. Yet another thing to stress about.

Turning up the music, he threw himself on the couch, pulling his hoodie further down his head. He missed Devin even more now, wanted to be next to him so badly; but the anxiety of what he would say if he were to face him was all too much. He inhaled deeply, remembering what Christine told him. It's not like he could see the future, whatever happens if he went to see Devin happens. He wouldn't have know the outcome unless he faced it, just look at what happened with him and Christine earlier that day.
It was a surprise, but a welcomed one at that. What kind of face would Devin make when he saw him? Would he show that beautiful smile? Or would he cry? God Jason hoped he wouldn't cry. Maybe he would get angry and curse at  him. Jason chuckled. That sounded like a much more accurate reaction. He closed his eyes trying to imagine it for himself. The deepened frown on his face, the flail of his arms to emphasize his words, and his long hair swaying with each movement. It was funny how he could so easily picture it, how he could practically hear Devin's angry voice.

He tried to think of something else. Devin smiling at him, laughing at one of his terrible jokes. They're in the library eating snacks, laughing at God knows what. Jason feels his mind calming itself down. Devin always had that effect on him, and it seemed that the effect still stood even when he wasn't actually there.
Devin stopped laughing, and instead says something. Something Jason couldn't hear. He leans forward, staring into Jason's eyes and- "NOPE." Jason lunges forward, his face extremely hot. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO. He was NOT going to let his mind tease him like that. There was only so much his heart could handle, and thinking about Devin kissing him was not one of those things. He groaned, embarrassed at himself and his wondering mind. "What is wrong with me?"

He threw himself back on the couch. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to kiss Devin. When he kissed Christine she had used so much intensity and her lips were always so soft. How would Devin kiss him? Would he be timid, passionate, or just as intense as Christine? Jason hated that he needed to know, wanted to find out firsthand. The burning heat on his face remained as he rose his hand to his lips. "I wonder what Devin's lips would feel like on mine..."
He hadn't realised the words had left his mouth until he heard his mother's confused, "WHAT?" from behind him. Explainig that to her was gonna be fun. Just fantastic.