Alittle Too Gay

I Had To Know

Christine pulled her baby blue coat closer to her body. Shuddering when the cold breeze made contact with the  exposed parts of her skin. Her feet felt heavy, her brain begging her to turn back, but she pushed on despite knowing the consequences that were bound to come out of her selfish actions later on. The guilt had already begun to sink in, twisting her stomach in the most unpleasant way. Making her feel nauseous.
She stopped when she reached the house. Worn out from the years it had lived through. She sighed, tugging at her coat once more as she made her way up the stairs to the faded brown door. She found herself hesitating to knock. Briefly considering turning back, but by then the door had already opened. "Afternoon Christine." She rose her head to meet the eyes of the tall man before her. "Just saw ya' standing there for a good ten minutes. So I just opened the door for ya'." Daniel smiled at her, clearly finding the situation humorous. Christine returned his contagious smile as he stepped out of the way to let her in. "Good afternoon Mr. Aslan." She said, taking off her shinny blue pumps. Daniel groaned.
"What did I tell you about calling me that? Daniel is just fine. Adding the formalities just makes me feel old." Christine chuckled to herself at his childishness. "But you are old." He fake pouted at the insult getting up from the chair he had only recently sat himself on to bring her something warm to drink. Christine took of her coat, making her way towards one of the two chairs in the living room to take a seat. She found herself looking around. The house felt empty. No Jason teasing her or cracking dumb jokes. None of his one hundred and one hoodies thrown over a couch. None of his boisterous laughter. Nothing.
Daniel came back shortly after with two steaming cups of tea. Taking a seat on the opposite chair and handing her a cup. She thanked him, taking a long sip before beginning her conversation. "How have you been Mr. Aslan?" She asked, trying to ease him in before getting to the uncomfortable bits. Daniel noticeably scrunched his face at the formalities but still answered her question. "Good actually..... your dad and Braxton have recently got me hooked up with a job at a bar. They pay good. Much better than my last job." That was good to hear. Daniel's last job wasn't exactly the best."How about you? How's school?" He asked, taking a sip of his tea. "Your dad's told me your grades been slippin'." She frowned. Why did her dad have to do that? "Is it because of Jason?" His voice was soft, as though he wasn't trying to alarm her. But he did. She was very alarmed and she was certain it was showing on her face. "Kid. I know that look." 'Damnit!' She thought. Why did her face have to be so expressive?! "I know you and Jason were now easin' into your relationship and that him leaving was.... unexpected. But you can't let it affect your grades. Your'e a smart kid, I know that for a fact. Please don't give up just because of one failed relationship." If the guilt wasn't eating her alive before, it definitely was now. Here Daniel was trying to comfort her broken heart, clearly speaking from experience, and here she was about to ruin it with her prodding, curious behavior. "I know, but at the same time.... I don't?" She spoke, not really sure which direction her words would be taking her. "I knew little to nothing when you and Jason first moved in town. I didn't know anything when we got into a relationship. And I still don't even though he's now gone...", she didn't want to continue. She sounded narcissistic. Daniel was clearly still processing the fact that Jason wasn't home to greet him anymore, and yet she had the nerve to make the situation about her. "I'm sorry Mr...... Daniel. I don't mean to sound self centered, but I just can't stop myself from feeling some what abandoned. He just left so abruptly, you know? He didn't even tell me good bye. No call, no message." She was aware of how angry she sounded, how frustrated she must have looked. But at the moment she couldn't care to conceal it.
"Could you imagine that he told his bestfriend good bye? That he ended their relationship properly, but yet couldn't even spare a text for his girlfriend?!" There it was. The jealousy, rearing its ugly head. Daniel raised an eyebrow, his now stern blue eyes searching her face. "Is that the real reason you're so upset?", "I-", "Nope." He said, quickly cutting her off. "I already know the answer." Her face was on fire. She felt beyond embarrassed. Her tea long forgotten, now felt cold in her hands, but nonetheless she drank it, trying her best to distract herself from Daniel's intense gaze.
She expected a stern scolding, a disappointed look even; but what she didn't expect was a reassuring pat on the head. She looked at him, not really knowing how to react upon seeing his smiling face. "Its ok." He said warmly. "Jason was.... well, you know how attached he was to Alex." She sniffled, returning her attention to the now empty cup. "But still, he really did care for you. I know Jason, and I know how awkward he is when it comes to 'love'. You know he cared for you sweetie, and I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you." She sniffled loudly this time, chewing her bottom lip. "He cared for me but he never loved me. We both know who he really loved." Daniel sighed, awkwardly scratching his neck as he chuckled. "He wasn't exactly subtle huh? But in defense, I'm sure he didn't even realize." Christine found herself chuckling too. "He is too dumb to figure it out." They both laughed, breaking the tension riddled atmosphere. Christine found herself to be a bit more relaxed, a weight being eased off of her shoulders. Jason may not have told her goodbye, but she left feeling as if he did. She felt at peace. No need to be frustrated, no need to be angry, no need to be needlessly attached. Simply at peace.