𝒯𝒽ℯ ℛ𝒾𝓈ℯ 𝒪𝒻 𝒜 𝒬𝓊ℯℯ𝓃

Chapter |22| A Grieving Couple

A R A B E L L A ' S     P . O. V

"So, how are you feeling today?" Our therapist, flips open her sketchbook, pen at the ready to scribe whatever bullshit I concocted this time.

I flashed her a sickly sweet grin. "Oh you know, just peachy."

"Arabella." Hardin reprimanded as though I was a child. However, I quickly began to sulk like one.

The therapy session we had scheduled today every other day lasted for an hour at least. They were the bane of my week, the thing I worked most hard to avoid.

Sitting down and talking about my feelings to a complete stranger whilst my husband watched, made me feel vulnerable and I hated it. Of course, Hardin loved it.

He spoke so freely about his emotions and how he's trying to cope with the loss of our son that I can't bare to let him do it alone.

I did, once. I simply didn't show up and then I was informed by the therapist how distant and cold Hardin had become, not wanting to answer any questions or supply a response.

He needed this more than I did, so I would suck it up. I had been dealing with grief and loss for years and that too, all alone. I didn't need my King to save me but yet just this once, he needed me to save him.

Sighing, I turned back to the therapist. "I'm feeling...okay."

"After two months of therapy, you're still just okay?" I shrugged. She muttered something under her breath and then scribbled onto her paper. What she got from that, I had no clue.

"And you, Hardin?" He hesitated at first, his eyes flickering between me and the therapist before I realised what he wanted. Reaching over, I squeezed his hand tightly, allowing his fingers to wound their way around mine.

"I'm better, what we talked about last week helped."

"The calming techniques?" I hated those stupid things: count to ten, close your eyes, take a minute. No, I fucking wouldn't! If I wanted to blow off some steam I would go down to the training centre as I usually did and beat the crap out of a punching bag.

"Yes, I realised that the anger was just a way of trying to disguise the guilt I feel towards our son's death." Son. We hadn't given him a name. That just made everything seem more real. He would forever be known as our little boy who lost his life.

"That's amazing Hardin, the fact that you were able to decipher this all by yourself is a real break through." She shifted her attention over to me. "Now Arabella, how does this make you feel?"

For once I had an opinion on the matter. "It makes me feel happy that Hardin is recognising this is not his fault. It was neither of ours, just something that occurs."

"And that's what you believe? That the loss of your child was just something that occurred?" I silently bawled up my fist, forcing myself to stay seated. I hated this woman and the way she makes me feel like a stone cold bitch.

It's my baby, my loss, I can deal with it however I want.

"I don't think that's a very inappropriate tone to be using Joanna. Arabella is handling the loss of our child her way, and the judgement directed in your tone is making me feel uncomfortable. Don't forget who you're addressing, she's your Queen." And just like that, my King protects my honour.