Pistanthrophobia

He's back

White

White

White

That same boring ugly color I see everyday. They put me in the fucking mental ward because I'm a 'danger to myself'. Don't they get it...I want to be a danger to myself. No matter how much love I receive it just can't out do the traumatizing past.

I can't receive visitors...shit I barely remember how they look. I've been locked up here for months 'working on myself'

They

My lovers...they made me want to live...they made me lock away the creatures...they made me fall in love. One day I was just off, nothing was working. They tried to make me laugh and do anything to snap me out of it, but I couldn't.

All day I was just blindly walking around scenes of my past replaying over and over in my head. The thought 'just kill yourself' came to thought, so I did...well tried. Yes I regret it, because I know I hurt them. It's not my fault though-- Do you know how many times I've tried to just end it all. My failed attempts list is just never ending.

I'm supposed to get out today, and see them after months. I wonder if they still feel the same, because I definitely do.

Time skip///

Reese POV's

My baby...I haven't seen him in months.

Pale skin...thin...curly red hair...pale brown eyes...freckles everywhere...short

How could anyone harm him? I would love an answer to that. How could he harm himself? I would love an answer to that also. It hurt to be the one to find him laying across his bed covered in blood spazzing out. The house was depressings for weeks...everyone just crying trying to figure out...why?

We know he's hurting...depressed...and we also know his past is not pretty just like kaiden's. Shit kaiden...I wonder how the introduction will go. It hasn't been kitten's and rainbows with kaiden...he still blacks out at times. He is still stubborn, and slightly closed off.

But he's definitely opened up. They're not so different...saire and kaiden. Their past are both traumatizing kaiden more than saire but close enough. They both have their off days...and had a plan to keep everyone the fuck out. It didn't work for either of them.

Most of the boys have heartbreaking...and scary stories. Jackson fucking killed his parents, we're not innocent. It doesn't matter how traumatizing your past is, it matters how strong you are as a person. Some people can't take it...

...

I don't know how long I stood there watching him...but soon enough he was in my arms. Both of us are crying our eyes out. Hugging like we haven't seen in years, but it felt like it. His eyes were still dull but lit up a bit when his eyes landed and stayed on me. I would love to hold him forever

But I had to get him back to the house. The boys had to stay with Kaiden who was trying to run away...he thinks saire is this big dominating cold suicidal dude who will dislike him a lot. He's right about him disliking him

Saire is...yeah

I just know kaiden won't try to run away again after how gabriel handled it...let's not think about that in a hospital. I carried saire all the way to the car and drove with him in my lap. I can't let him go not after what happened...

Time skip

"We're here bubs" I whispered in saires ear

"Oh and there's another member"

////////////////////////////////////////////

Saire's POV

I hid behind Reese's frame not wanting to meet this person at all...I don't like people. Reese opened the door and I kept my body directly behind him.

"Where's saire?"

RYAN!

"He's right here"

I got picked up and tossed over someone's shoulder.

"Gabriel put.me.down"

He put me down and smiled at me. I smiled at everyone receiving hugs, kisses, and I love you's forgetting we had a new member until..

"And this is kaiden bubs"

I made eye contact with him and instantly didn't like him...wanna know why? He's like me...never trust someone like you

I turned my gaze towards Justin and he frowned instantly knowing that I didn't like kaiden...if this doesn't break our relationship I don't know what will.

"Kaiden why don't we go watch a movie"

"W-what no"

After kaiden got dragged out by Reese the all turned to me

Well shit...

Authors note: well this is the first chapter to pistanthrophobia... how is it? do you like saire so far? was he what you were expecting?