Pistanthrophobia

escape plan

Saire's POV

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“saire -- I swear if you don’t come out that damn bathroom”

Everyone was pounding and yelling on the other side of the bathroom door. I’ve been hiding since I had that ‘talk’ with them about 15 minutes ago. I didn’t say a word, just sat there listening to them tell me about myself...the shit that I should have remembered. I hated how as they talked I got different flashbacks of the shit he would do to me while in headspace.

My brain obviously locked it away for a reason. 

He’s in Jail

He’s In Jail

He’s In jail

I sadly have to repeat that stupid sentence to reasure myself that he can’t come for me. That reminds me that I haven’t seen my friends since the kidnapping.Calls, text, and apologies? Yeah, but seeing them in person? No…

They’ve been asking to see me butI don’t want to be a disappointment. I’m not the same saire I used to me. The smiley one...the bright one...the hyper one...the one that bounced around everywhere...the one that was excited to make new friends...the easily manipulated one. 

That friend group was and will always be my family. They protected me...they were the older siblings while I was the little one that made everyone laugh, or be worried. They were protective over my head space, and hated how I trusted everyone so easily…

I should have listened...I should have listened to Marcel, and not trusted him. He thought something was off about him in the beginning. Especially when he started keeping me away from my friends, and trying to keep me to himself away from help. I was already too far gone to even notice

To stupid…

This fucking headspace is or was aoart of me and I lost another part of me because of that bastard. How much more is he gonna take? He took my life...my personality...my happiness. What’s left to give? I thought it was my life, but you see how that’s turned out.

I got up and ran when everything became too real. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my body was shaking, my surroundings were blurry. It wouldn’t stop! The dizziness, the fresh tears, the hate for myself now stronger than ever

Why did I need protection?

Why was I so easy to manipulate 

Everyone must hate me

I’m such a burden

God I hate myself...I hate being a fucking little, bcause isn’t that what caused it? If I wasn’t one he wouldn't have done those things. If I wasn’t one it wouldn't have traumatized me to the point of forgetting. It’s just my fault….

I did the only thing my mind would let me think of at the moment. I relaxed my body and felt myself starting to feel light. In a good way-- the bad thoughts weren’t gone obviously, but this place...it felt safe. I remember hearing the door open and a faint oh shit. Kiaden’s name was called and I was lifted into someone's arms. 

I fell asleep after that...exhaustion is a bitch

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Kaiden’s POV

I picked up saire into my arms and he didn’t fight it just laid limp while I carried him to my room. I put us both under the covers and cuddled him to my chest...so far I’m the worst daddy imaginable---

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Time skip////current time

SAM’S POV

My baby...god my baby I miss him so much. He must feel so lonely without me. He’s all  by himself in that big world with no one to care for him as well as I did. He looked so scared when I got dragged away by the cops. I tried to get free telling them that he needed me, but the only thing I got in response was rough treatment

I haven’t gotten any letters or visits from my baby...maybe it’s hard out there. But he deserves to be punished for not visiting daddy. I got sentenced to life in prison in the psych ward. They think I’m crazy...but I’m not. I got a letter a while ago from someone named Reese or whatever he was irrelevant. He told me that my baby died

And I went batshit crazy. I killed my old cellmate, and they had to temporarily paralyze me with a needle. They kept me in solitary confinement  for a month and after I was let out I was informed saire had not died.That  made me happy, and look forward to the escape I’ve been planning--

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Author's Note: Mb for not updating as much as I usually do. I'm slightly losing interest in this book, but don't worry lmao I won't stop until it's completed. It's just my usual fast updates won't be as fast :)