Better Than Nothing: Part 3 of On the Edge Series

Chapter 10

"Take your coat off," Billy muttered as he kicked his shoes off and went straight to the couch. He sunk heavily on the cushions.

I hung my coat and carefully took my shoes off before perching on a chair next to the couch. The silence was brutal. The chill from Billy was unmistakable. I stared at the clock on my phone, willing the minutes to pass. If nothing else, Tim would break the silence. But until then, a thick, suffocating quiet surrounded Billy and me.

"Hey, man," Tim said as he came in, and then his eyes fell on me. "Lil, you're here... with Billy... in awkward silence."

"Tell them." Billy threw his hands up in the air.

"My dad died," I flatly said.

"What?" Tess and Tim said in unison.

"My dad died last month," I said again. No tears came this time. It was real and forever now that Billy knew.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," Tim set a gentle hand on my shoulder, but it was clear from his voice that he didn't know what to do.

The situation was confusing. Billy and I were mourning equally but separately. We were near in our proximity but distant in our emotions. Even Tim couldn't bridge the gap.

"I'm sorry, Billy. I know you were very close," Tess soothed as she sat on the couch next to him.

"Thank you," he quietly said and squeezed her knee.

I let my eyes linger on his hand. I remembered that hand, that reassuring squeeze. Instead of feeling that reassurance, Timmy slid into the chair with me. It wasn't big enough for his frame and mine, so he pulled me to his lap.

"What can I do, Lilipop?" Tim murmured.

It was such a Billy response. I pulled my eyes from Billy's hand and let my head drop to Tim's chest. He rested his chin on the crown of my head.

"Nothing, just be you. You're enough," I said as I curled into him like a child.

What I said caused an unintended response from Billy. He was up on his feet, quickly pacing away. Tess' wide eyes snapped to Tim and me.

"Let him go. He'll be back," Tim's voice ricocheted from his chest with a soothing and familiar vibration.

"You knew," I whispered without lifting my face to look at Tim.

"I suspected," he corrected before a crash from the kitchen interrupted him. "Maybe I'll go," he quickly said as he slid out from under me.

"How are you doing?" Tess shifted on the couch and invited me to her.

I accepted with a reassuring smile. "Mary's been fixing me up."

"Is that why you came here tonight?"

"Yeah, I hoped she'd tell him, but she was right to have it come from me. There was no funeral, so he didn't miss anything. My dad didn't want one. It was just family at the burial."

"Billy cherished that friendship," Tess spoke low.

"I don't know what to do with that. He was my dad; should I apologize for introducing them?" I didn't mean it to come angry, but everyone kept reminding me how much my father meant to Billy.

"I don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with any of this either," Tess admitted before silence fell between us. After a few moments, Tess broke the quiet with a "hey."

"Hey," I shot back.

"Lil, can I ask you something?" Her voice was tentative.

"Of course, you can ask me anything."