Better Than Nothing: Part 3 of On the Edge Series

Chapter 21

In far too easy of a manner, Billy convinced me that my bra and panties were equal to a bikini, which could have been true if not for my affinity for sheer lace underwear, which I suspected Billy recalled. Even more, I picked red because it was Billy's favorite color. I looked at myself in the mirror and knew we were too weak to resist this challenge. I also stamped down my growing anxiety to decide that I didn't care.

"Holy shit, it's so cold out here," I sped my pace to the steaming hot tub.

I had planned a sexy reveal, but freezing temps thwarted my plans. Instead, I threw the towel down and plunged into the warm water as quickly as possible, eliciting Billy's loud, gruff laugh.

"Way to suck the sexy out of that moment," he added from across the dancing vapors of the water.

"Me? Blame your Duluth December!"

"Hey, leave Duluth out of this," he teased with a splash. "Besides, I got enough of a look," he added with a wink. "Did you wear red for me?"

"Billy! When did you get so vulgar?"

"Oh, around the time you professed your undying love for me."

"Wow, pretty quick to turn that into a joke." I raised an eyebrow at him.

He pulled me closer to him. "Lil, we've been at this for twenty years. Nothing we do has a quick turnaround." As he spoke, his eyes flickered down.

"Hey, eyes up top," I asserted.

"Babe, it's not my eyes you should be worried about right now." He laughed as he pulled me more to his lap.

I sighed and let my head drop to his shoulder. "This is nice. Does it help your back?"

"I guess. Who knows? Having some resemblance of self-awareness when I play is the best medicine.

"I can give you another back rub later if you want."

"I'll never turn down a back rub."

We sat there with the quiet hum of the tub and steam surrounding us. Billy's back deck looked over a field that led to a wooded area. It was all covered with white snow that glowed beneath the winter moon.

"Logistics," I finally murmured.

"Mmhmm, I was thinking about that too. Would you be okay with moving to Duluth, or should we figure out splitting time?"

"You'd split time?" I lifted my head from his shoulder to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, of course. I have the kids Sunday afternoons to Tuesday morning and every other weekend."

"That'd be so much flight time," I shook my head. "I should just move here."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to make such a big sacrifice."

"Billy, more of my life is here than there now."

"But you love Portland. It's such a part of you, of us." There was a hint of sadness in his eyes at the idea of me moving from Portland that touched something deep inside me.

"It's not going anywhere. We can keep my condo. I'm sure I'll have to fly in for work a couple of times a month."

He pulled me in tighter as I spoke, and a soft smile tipped his lips.

"What?" I let out a laugh.

"You said we could keep your condo," he smiled.

I let out another laugh. "I love you." And I absently leaned in for a kiss. It was quick and familiar, not doing justice to the ten-year gap since our last kiss, but fitting for the moment. I dashed past the moment, as the thought of being physical with Billy returned the nervous energy I had buried deep within me. "I have to find a place here. I can't keep imposing on your mother."