Better Than Nothing: Part 3 of On the Edge Series

Chapter 27

My mind wandered as the whirring of the air popper and the smell of popcorn halted my conversation with Mary. I had never thought of myself as good for Billy. I knew Billy was good for me: kind, patient, and compassionate. He always seemed much more together. His course was set in life, driven by his passion. It took me years to find a career that interested me and even longer to get to a role that felt fulfilling. There were many times I questioned if my career was fulfilling. In a way, my loneliness curdled the success. I uncomfortably shifted as I suddenly felt the distance between Billy and me.

"Hey, bring this into the boys," Mary said as she pushed the first bowl of popcorn across the island.

"I'm hoping to get them out without breaking them, but we have a few extras in the basement. You want to help?" Billy said as I neared. I lingered in the doorway for a moment not to disturb them.

"Yeah, sure," Jackson murmured.

"Really?" There was a bit of surprise in Billy's voice that I could see settle on Jackson's face, but there was also the undertone of excitement.

"Yeah, if you want." Jackson's voice was still low, and he didn't raise his eyes to Billy as he spoke.

"I'd love the help."

"Hey, you two, what's going on?" I handed Billy the bowl and flopped down next to him.

"Just making our plan of attack on the first-floor bathroom for tomorrow." Billy slid an arm around my shoulders, and instinctively I leaned into him as he kissed my temple. Our eyes lifted simultaneously to see Jackson's gaze trained on us. We stiffened and moved apart.

"You don't have to do that." Jackson had a bit-back smile that was frighteningly close to Billy's.

"Jackson..." Billy began with no clear destination.

"Dad, you guys have been pretty obvious since Lily got back into town. I'm thirteen, not an idiot. It's cool."

"Do you have questions?" Billy asked as he let a hand grasp mine.

"No, not really," Jackson mumbled.

"Not really, or no?" Billy prodded.

"I don't know; I guess I was just curious about what happened?"

"We have a connection that we're re-exploring," Billy diplomatically answered.

"No, I mean, what changed? I know you guys have a history. What happened now? Did you call her?"

"No, I didn't call her." Billy's eyes dipped to the cards scattered across the table.

Jackson's eyes fell on me as I pondered the moment. "You know, when I came here, I didn't think it was for Billy. And when I saw him for the first time, I didn't think it was about him. But when I really felt like my trip was purposeful, it was because of your dad." Billy's hand constricted tighter around mine at the sentiment.

"Why did you think you came here?" A curiosity on Jackson's face pulled me back to the incessant question of Billy when we first met.

"Jackson, it's complicated," Billy protectively interjected.

"No, it's not really," I corrected. "It's fine, and these are good questions." I nodded to Jackson with a smile. "I first came because I was angry. I thought I was angry about some silly albums I had been receiving yearly for a decade."

"Why would you get mad about gifts?"

"Well, that gets a bit into your dad's story to tell, and I wouldn't want to divulge anything he's uncomfortable discussing, but we didn't part on the best of terms."