The one forgiven sin 《Sambucky》

00.02

Perhaps, it is the greatest grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.

~Madeline Miller

His mother passed away in her sleep.
Only a month after his father had left this earth in a hospital bed. Sam Wilson felt like he couldn't breathe, reality leaving him in a hazy mindset, he wasn't sure if the realisation already happened or if he was still stuck in denial. His parents died. And there was nothing he could do about it.  His parents were his idols, Paul and Darlene Wilson were Angels send from above, so he didn't understand why god took them back when all they ever did was make this hellish earth a better place.

The two were buried next to each other, as Sam and his sister, Sarah, and her boyfriend, and soon to be husband, stood next to each other. The whole town came and everyone was bawling, heavy sobs ringing in Sam's ears. Yet, all he heard inside of his mind was deafening silence. He couldn't cope with his own emotions and he knew it.

He just felt empty, his life was heading in a direction he couldn't control. So he did his best as the older brother and went to comfort his sister, whose mind wasn't as confused. She was clearly shaken up, her brown big eyes overflowing with tears. Yet, Sam on the other hand... He couldn't face his own emotions, they just weren't controllable. So he supresssed them and made sure his sister was okay.

It was always the way he coped. Instead of having emotional outbursts he'd rather help others. And he wanted to make his parents proud, he wanted to do something bigger for himself and the world.

So, instead of staying at home and watching his family life crumble in front of his eyes due to the absence of his parents, Sam Wilson decided to go join the Air Force, where he met his new partner, Riley.

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Riley was amazing. He was such a cheerful and optimistic guy, his blue eyes were just so full of emotions, Sam was intrigued as he never met someone as emotional as Riley. They were teamed up in the army and their skills were beyond comparison which caused a lot of envy between the other teammates, but Sam didn't mind. He had Riley, and that was all he needed. They knew eath other now for half a year and really loved each other's presence. Everyone around them saw the way they looked at each other, everyone but them.

But soon, Riley, the pure angel, made Sam speechless as he, after a mission leaned in to seal the deal. Both were full of grim and dirt, and the kiss was fast and sloppy, but it was still perfect. Because it was the right person.

"Wow."he breathed, awestruck with amazement as he looked up into those kind blue eyes and he felt himself swallow.

"Wow, indeed." Riley smiled and leaned his head on Sam's shoulder, his blond hair tickling Sam's chin, yet he made no move to scoot away from his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Wow.

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It was late in the evening, and Sam and Riley were as always cuddled up on their way too thin mattress when their Colonel got to them with an important message. Both jumped up to get dressed, as Sam felt himself worry. They were send out on mission after mission, and slowly, the power was just leaving him. He wanted to be left alone and cuddle with Riley. That was it.

But fate had other plans for the two of them, so they were introduced to a program new to men. It was inexperienced, something like this never happened before, and they would have intense training sessions, should the two of them agree. Which is what they did.

Both had same motivations, wanting to be part of something bigger than themselves, so it really wasn't a question of if the two of them would agree, it was a question of when the two could start.

So, indeed, the training was intense, they were exhausted beyond believe, but it didn't stop them. They trained and trained, till their lungs gave out and their knees crashed under their weight. But it was worth it. Both were deemed ready in the summer that year.

They had a training place, which was good 180 yards big, where they could do anything they wanted, and it was amazing. Nothing ever felt better for Sam than flying. It was reckless, he was reckless, but he didn't care. He would trade absolutely everything to always feel the cold air surround his body as he glides through it all. He felt free, high above the others he was powerful. And he was with the one he loved. Riley.

They got their own codenames making everything feel surreal as those names made them superheroes.

Riley was Redwing. And Sam was the Falcon. It felt good to be admired, to be looked up to. He felt invincible, as if nothing could take him down.

Because nothing could take him down. Nothing, so high in the air could reach him. He felt brave, fear less and strong. Riley on the other hand was worried. Two weeks into the programme did he mention the change in Sam's eyes. He said he looked... crazy, feral even. The high of the adrenalin made Sam stop thinking rationally, is what Riley exclaimed. But Sam wouldn't listen. His mind told him Riley was jealous because Sam was better with the wings than him.

In those weeks the two fought a lot. They would scream and claw at each other's throat. Well, no, Riley did that. Sam closed off his emotions. It was just too much. He couldn't deal with that.

But he also couldn't deal with Riley getting shot out of the sky.