The one forgiven sin 《Sambucky》

00.24

What I have with you, I don't want with anyone else.

It was late in the evening when Sam finally managed to get his butt out of bed, the flashbacks exhausting him to an extent that left him breathless.

But after some time, he wasn't hanging off of Bucky like a second skin, and left the guy alone, since Bucky had promised Carlos to fix up his truck. Bucky promised him though to be back as fast as possible, yet two hours later he wasn't back again, and Sam went to Carlos himself, with Sarah in tow. But no bionic staring machine in sight. Sam's heart started painfully drumming in his chest when he caught a glimpse of Carlos in the backyard.

They greeted each other with a hug and Carlos told him Bucky went to the docks to help Moira, a lovely woman living closer to the water than Sarah, with her garden.

"Y'know," Carlos started. "That boy of yours is a total diamond." He said, a pleased smile stretching across his face. But Sam was confused as to why Carlos kept referring to Bucky as his.

"He came today to help me with that old truck. Came, fixed it, ditched us. Was even too nice to take money from us." He explained, pointing at his now fixed up truck with his thumb.

"Well, yeah, he got enough money. Government gotta pay him back for his soldier days." Sam laughed, thinking about the governments depths they had to pay Bucky back for his time as a Prisoner of War.

"Yeah, figured by this booty. Your boy be built like some Greek statue!" Carlos laughed along, but both jumped up as Sarah from behind piped up.

"That's what I am sayin'!" They laughed again, but Sam couldn't help but scowl at his sister.

"Sam?" Carlos caught his attention again

"Mhm?"

"Your boy is a broken one though," Oh, Carlos, Sam knows.

"So you gotta love him in the nicest ways ever," He would like to, but Bucky won't let him. "Or you'll scar him even more than he already is. So, hurt him, and I'll drown you. Got it?"

Sam was pleasantly surprised by the protective feelings his hood had towards Bucky, and even though Bucky wasn't his, thank you, Carlos, he would never put a stop to that, so he only nodded in response.

•□•□•□•

Sam came home to find his favourite old man cleaning up dishes in his sister's kitchen, and he was overwhelmed, or rather blessed by how domestic that sight looked, he had to take in a breather to stop the visions of a future just like this with Bucky in his mind.

"Hey, Buck." He greeted, grabbing an apple from the table and biting into it. He was trying not to let it show how nervous he actually was.

"Hey." Bucky greeted back, not making any kind of eye contact as he focused on the plates in front of him.

"You alright?" Sam couldn't help but ask, since there definitely was something wrong, when the starring machine wasn't starring.

"Mhm."

"I gotta talk to is. Is that alright?" Sam asked, keeping his voice steady, yet Bucky tensed up, anyway. He stopped midmove and nodded so densely, it looked robotic.

"

Sooo... What are we, man?" He whispered, and couldn't suppress the tremble in his voice.

"You? A pain in my ass." He replied, his back still turned to Sam.

"Seriously? You gotta joke at a time like this? Come on, man..." Sam sighed, but was surprised when Bucky abruptly turned around. His bottom lip was trembling and his eyes were moist.

"I don't know what we are, okay?" He whispered, his voice breaking just like Sam's heart. He didn't want Bucky to worry like this.

"What I know is that... that I can't lose you, Sam! I know I like you, and I know you like me, too. But... what if we do date? And break up? And I'm all alone again? I can't- Sam, I can't lose this again!"

"Buck, shhh, sugar. Breathe. What can't you lose? Tell me." He pleaded, having grabbed Bucky by his broad shoulders.

"This! You! You gave me family, friends, I am happy. Finally after so many years of pain I can smile again, and it's all thanks to you! I can't lose-"

"Buck, calm down." Sam interrupted. "Nobody's gonna take this from you, okay?" He met those blue diamonds he adored so much and waited till Bucky nodded to go on.

"We'll do this the way you want to, okay?"

Bucky nodded again, so much gratitude shining in his eyes, it was dizzying.

"If you say, no dating, so be it. Then we'll be besties." Sam had to swallow his own feelings for this, since he knew he definitely wanted to be more than just friends with Bucky.

"If you say-"

"But that's the point! I wanna date you! I just-"

"Okay, fine, we'll date and see how it goes." Sam said, ignoring how much joy this declaration send into his heart.

"But don't worry about us breakin' up before it even started. I ain't that bad."

"That's not what I meant, asshole!" Bucky already getting offended on his behalf? Yes, please.

"All I'm sayin' is you don't gotta worry about that stuff. But if it helps, I doubt somethin' will change around here for you. Okay?"

A few moments of silence passed between them as Bucky seemed to ponder on his words, before he nodded. First, slowly, then, as if he couldn't stop himself, more harshly.

"Yeah, okay. Okay..." He finally agreed, though Sam still could see anxiety pool in those blue eyes.

"Okay.." He said anyway, but wasn't all too surprised as Bucky whispered.

"Can we wait with the whole Dating thing? I just-, I, well- you, I-" he hopelessly stuttered, bracing himself to get hit. And that hurt Sam a little more.

"Buck, sugar, it's cool. Let's stay friends for now. Is already a promotion from co-workers to friends." He joked, desperately hoping to ease some tension off of Bucky's shoulders. To his relief, it worked and Bucky laughed wholeheartedly.

"Thanks, Sam..."

Adding a smile that was good enough to outshine stars....