The one forgiven sin 《Sambucky》

00.03

Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things.

He got dragged away, out of the show, and right into a HYDRA facility. He just didn't know it yet thanks to his unconsciousness. But he did woke up right after the pain in his shoulder gradually grew more painful. When his dazed eyes reopened, he found a man he knew all too well lean over him, his ugly glasses about to fall off of his ugly piggy nose. Arnim Zola.

The man was focused on sewing off some remains of his arm, but when he noticed Bucky wasn't asleep he called across the room and someone wearing a gear full of massive weapons jumped up and knocked him unconscious again with chemicals.

When he woke up, he was still somehow delirious, but managed to make out his excessively heavy arm. One look down told him they had replaced his human arm with a metal one. Bucky blinked wairly, not fully understanding what was happening. The next, he sobbed, heavy tears running down his hollowed cheeks as realisation settled in. He was back here again, Azzano was just the beginning. He sobbed louder and felt around just to feel nothing with this metal arm. Not one thing. He couldn't feel the coldness of the table he was strapped onto. He couldn't feel the blood underneath his shoulder no one bothered cleaning up and he couldn't feel it when he clawed with his normal arm at his shoulder, where metal met flesh.

But the motions were visible and soon enough guards had crowded themselves around him, ready to sedate him or beat him, whatever Zola decided. The ugly man with the even uglier heart decided to step closer to the unstable soldier and leaned over his head, watching the brunette shake with the aftermath of his crying.

"You, Sargent Barnes, will be the new fist of HYDRA. A new supersoldier, a better one than Steve Ro-" Bucky had interrupted him by ripping his metal arm into the air and wrapping it around his neck, blue ice like eyes ripped open and glaring. Armin had talked with such adoration, as if he was talking about all the good achievements his son did in school, it made Bucky's stomach churn violently.

"Don't say his name, you piglet." Zolas  eyes widened in fear and he made a hand gesture for the guards to step into this situation, but Bucky had ripped himself off of his chains around the waist and was on his feet less than in seconds. His still flesh elbow connected with the nose of a near standing guard and he rid him of his gun and held it up to Zolas temple.

"One move, and the piglet's brain will decorate those walls" he viciously snarled, the cold gun in his hand giving him an odd calmness and feeling of safety as he held an advantage on his hands. Hand. He lost one, the metal one was not a part of him. HYDRA will never be a part of him.

Bucky didn't realise it, but someone sneaked up on him, and bashed his head with something solid, making him collide with the floor. He was screaming bloody murder as he was picked off of the ground, his nails digging in the ground below as he fought off the guards, yet, they wouldn't budge. He was still trying to viciously fight them off, but five had to hold him in place as Zola barked commands. That was when he for the first time was met with cryo freeze. He was still screaming, wailing in crucifying pain that was not physical, but rather mental. He feared what was about to happen next time he would step out of the cold chamber. The soldiers had to hold him still, but it did nothing, he just squirmed more, the metal of the robotic thing hanging off of his shoulder creacking in discomfort.

And then, the door slammed shut, trapping him inside of the device. Slowly, but steadily, the cold creeped up his body again, and he was reminded of the petrified fall he had. God, he was falling again, he wished for the ground to finally collide with him, giving him the sweet satisfaction of death, but there was no ground. He was just simply falling. He was always falling.

And right now, he was falling asleep in a heavy ice cube.

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When he was thawed out, all he felt was the cold. He himself could feel his heart turn cold, and he felt himself shake with the aftermath of the cryo freeze. He immediately knew he hated those  chambers. But those were not the worst part of his stay in a Hydra facility, he would learn to know about that.

They had strapped him to a chair, it was wide and made of leather, and entirely black. A chill went up his spine, but his glare was never replaced, he wouldn't show his fears. Those made him vulnerable, so he refused to. Glaring in every direction, his blue eyes unmoving, unforgiving.

Everyone was in discomfort, it was visible by the way they were fumbling with their fingers or avoided eye contact or just stayed away.

"What are you fighting for, Sargent Barnes?" came Zola's voice to his right, interrupting his thoughts of satisfaction as he came to realize the guards had feared him, and he tried turning his head into the direction of the small scientist but to no avail, the chains held him down.

"Do you really believe into ze whole Captain America stuff? Do you believe your blond prince will come to ze rescue?"

The question startled him, and he stared dumbly at the scientist. But then he was enveloped by sheer anger.

"I don't need saving, I need a gun to kill all of you." He didn't sound half as threatening as he wanted to, thanks to the clattering of his teeth, but his glare was even more terrifying in return.

"Well, no, till we haven't started ze brainwashing yet, zere will be no weapon near you yet." The German scientist smiled, before barking a command that Bucky would learn to fear.

"Wipe him." Clams of metal got a hold of his upper arm and some flashing device wrapped himself on top of his left eye and held his right jaw as he was forced to lean back into the machine. Bucky heard the summing of electricity in the background when hot white pain exploded behind his half closed eyelids. He screamed, clawed at the armrest, but it did nothing. No one stopped.

Only pain stayed. He tried to get free, but the people in the room... Who were they? Where were he? The pain intensified and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Sweat was dripping down his back and forehead as the chair gave a final boost of energy and he was released. His jaw hurt, his mind felt heavy and painful and he shuddered with the aftermath of the wipe, but he wouldn't give up just yet. He turned his head vastly towards Zola and spat in his face, dirtying his ugly glasses with his spit.

Zola smiled

"Wipe him again."

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"Желание.
Ржавый.
Семнадцать.
Рассвет.
Печь.
Девять.
Добросердечный.
Возвращение на Родину.
Один.
Товарный вагон."

Those words were associated with his brain hurting and pain and after good five years, they managed.

Bucky Barnes turned fearful instead of bratty,

Bucky Barnes lost his memories to a machine,

Bucky Barnes turned to the Asset, and the Asset had no name, no family and no life.

The Asset was also no he, it was just simply the Asset. An object, ready to comply.

It was born from HYDRA, so it would do anything to please HYDRA. It refused to get hurt all the time. Even if it meant lose its mind.