The one forgiven sin 《Sambucky》

00.20

...you made me feel again...

It was weird, being back in Louisiana. The dry air as well as the hot sun burning his skin seemed to be unbearable, as he stared at his sister and her children talk to his neighbours. The boat looked even more wrecked the longer he looked at it. His shoulders sagged forward as his head started hurting. He came here to relax, yet he seemed even more restless than before.

For one, it definetly had to do with his little talk with Isaiah. His story was... horrific. It cut deep into Sam's soul, he was sure after hearing such a horrorstory he had to call reality, he would never be the same again. After he went home that night he tried getting some sleep, but everytime he did, it felt like his lungs were closing up and all he could see were those haunted dark brown, almost black eyes.
He couldn't help but fear Isaiah was his future version. But then, he remembered his co-worker, that stubborn bitch never would let it happen.
He wished Isaiah had someone like that, but even he knew it was way too late. This man had lived his life, but it was far from pleasant. And now, Sam could do nothing but pray the last few years were somewhat calm for the old hauted soul he saw as a friend.

Second of all, he missed something. Or rather, someone. He missed the only guy he deemed trustworthy. He knew he rarely talked about his problems, or his feelings, or anything like that, since he really had not felt alive for a long long time, even before Riley died, but now, everything came full force at him, and sometimes it felt like the only thing keeping his head over water was Bucky.

So, right now he felt some kind of loss sweep over him.

He knew why that was.

Even though he was surrounded by the people he loved, the people he deeply cared for, he was devastated when he didn't feel the warm feeling lightening up his chest. He also didn't feel the warmth embracing him since another important person was missing.

Bucky.

The one he... liked.

Till now love still seemed a strong word for his difficult relashionship with Bucky as he knew he cared deeply for him. He did know he wanted him here with him, if only to see him.

Which is why as the heavy box Carlos had been pointing at started levitating in the air, right after he had asked "How do we get it off the truck?", his heart stopped for a split second only to beat faster as he followed the metallic arm with his eyes to see the grumpy hundred-and-six year old the arm belonged to.

As if he knew what Sam wished for.

"You're welcome" he grunted.

"Just came here to drop this off. You can sign for it and I'll go."

Oh, hell nah, you better be stayin' for a while, broken white boy.

He didn't say that, of course, he chuckled only. Bucky blushing thanks to his laugh didn't go unnoticed, but wasn't mentioned. It only made him smile more. But then, his eyes flickered to the suitcase Bucky arrived with. Its metal was shiny, and he recognised it immediately.

Wakanda.

His eyes grew to saucerers, as his head snapped into Bucky's direction. But he was already looking around Sam's home. Bucky, standing on a boat Sam considered family.

Before he could do anything, a wire close to them ripped open, hissing as it let out air. Sam immediatly was there, ready to screw it up again, but it wasn't working. He felt him, before he heard his voice or touched Sam's hip with his warm right hand as Bucky reapeared right at Sam's side.

"You gotta get up!"

Fidgeting awkwardly, a light blush crept up Bucky's neck, only to settle on his cheeks, as he turned his gaze back to Sam. "You want any help?" He offered.

Sam knew he didn't need it, percisely. Yet, he'd rather shoot himself than turn down an opportunity to have Bucky close.

..........

It wasn't after everyone had died down, and the boat was basically shining in newfound glory that Sam, once again, took a seat next to his, once again, brooding coworker.
Bucky sat there, in this light blue shirt, and God, he looked like an angel. The colourful shirt somehow returned an innocence into Bucky's eyes that had been amiss for almost sixty decades. He jumped slightly once he sensed the other man's presence, but settled down again.

"You have a good life, Sam" he sighed, nipping on his fifth beer. So, this guy also couldn't get drunk, huh?

"Yeah, very cosy. But loud at times." He admitted. Bucky laughed at that, his head slightly tipped back and a huge grin broke across his face. Sam felt his heart miss a beat.

But then, Bucky's face darkened. "My sister always set the mood in the house. Died while I was..."

Brainwashed and forced to kill went unspoken, but Sam could hear it linger in the air anyways.

"Now, it's just me, and silence, in my apartment. I used to have it all, and took it for granted."

"You was born in the great depression, man, I doubt you was livin' this good."

"Man, shut up, the forties had their perks!" Bucky seethed, yet, there was no heat to his words, only amusement.

"Uh-huh." He joked, trying to keep the dark thoughts, if only for minutes, away from Bucky.

"We did! I swear we did! But the fun we had back then would be illegal." He smiled while looking down the peer. A sort of longing crossed his face.
"Y'know, I worked a lot back then. Had, like, five different jobs. Never even finished school, ma old folks decided I'd be drafted, anyway, so why bother? I was the son, so I had to bring in the cash. Was a waiter, a mechanic, and I worked at the docks." He grinned, blue meeting brown.

Sam swallowed.

"And here I thought you was tryna woop my sister off her feet."

"Nah. She isn't the Wilson I'm interested in..."

Sam felt as if he was on fire, his palms were getting sweaty, and he must have looked like a dumb deer caught in the headlights, but it didn't matter anyway. Bucky's smile slipped off his face and an anxious, yet determined expression took its place.

Bucky liked his lips, his blue eyes slowly trailing down Sam's face, only to settle on his own, that suddenly seemed way too dry. His heart drummed in his head louder than ever, yet his thoughts that normally were spimmimg so fast, he sometimes got dizzy, seemed to stop for a few seconds.

And then they both leaned in...