Ariana Grande Imagines

Determined to Live PT2

Y/N POV:

It's been two months since Berlin and I got bombed. 

She is still in the hospital and hasn't woken up yet, and the doctors are saying that she might not  live. I healed fast and I was on my feet in less than three days. It would've been one day but Alex and Ariana persisted and kept me benched, but as soon as I was allowed back at work, I dug into every single case we have ever had. 

I looked through each bomb case, every case that I was personally involved in, and the few cases Berlin worked her ass off on. I double checked each carefully and made sure I didn't miss anything. 

It was currently 6:00 pm and I was sitting in my living room, tapping away on my laptop. Papers and folders surrounded me, laying open with pictures of terrorists and other criminals who have had anything to do with me, Berlin or bombs. 

I scribbled facts down on my notebook, and took a sip of water, not taking my eyes off of my screen. Ariana was busy in the kitchen with Joan and her grandma, who we call Nonna. They were preparing food for the small family reunion we were having tonight. Ariana and I own a large house with a spacious yard and a pool, so we were the perfect candidates for hosting. 

Frankie came with Joan and Nonna, and was setting up drinks and snacks in the living room where I worked. He occasionally glanced at me, a look of worry painted on his face. He would also stare at my shoulder and arm, as I was wearing a tank-top being it was 85 degrees out. 

Why was he staring?

I had scars and they were large, badass ones. They were from my job and they etched into my skin, leaving memories I wish I didn't have. People stared, it's normal, that's why I wear sweaters or flannels.

I closed the last file and put my head in my hands, groaning in defeat.

"You ok Y/N?" Frankie asked, looking over at me. 

I shook my head and grabbed my stuff, throwing it in a bag and walking upstairs. I passed the kitchen and I'm pretty sure Ari saw my pissed facial expression, as she paused what she was doing and frowned at me. As soon as I got to my shared bedroom I threw my stuff on the floor and walked out to the balcony. I breathed in the fresh air and sighed; when I get stressed I always come here for a breath of fresh air, it helps me calm down. 

I heard the squeak of the sliding door and I turned to see Ariana walking with two glasses of champagne. She smiled and handed one to me, which I accepted and took a sip from. She stood next to me and leaned on the railing, looking out at the far away city. 

"So," She said, taking a swig from her champagne, "Whats up with you?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, gripping onto the railing with my left hand. I felt tears start to form and I just barely managed to not break down then and there, but that didn't stop my body from letting out a shaky breath. Ari noticed almost immediately and wrapped on of her arms around my waist, rubbing my arm. 

"I don't know Ariana. I've been off ever since...you know. And I can't seem to keep my mind off of that fact that the bomb was meant for me." Each word trembled from my lips, falling out like water. 

She pouted slightly and pulled me into a hug, placing both of our glasses down. I rested my forehead on her shoulder and swayed back and forth while she ran her nails up and down my spine, trying to give me comfort.

"I know baby, I know. You need a break, that's what's wrong. You've been stressing over the fact of that stupid bomb and you have been not stop trying to find who did it. And Berlin-"

"No, stop." I said, pushing away from Ariana. I didn't want to hear her name, it just brings me back to that night. I rested my elbows on the metal rail and put my head in my hands. 

"Honey.." She said softly, taking my hand. I pulled away again and shook my head, backing up slightly. 

"I don't wanna remember her right now. I-I can't."

 Ariana moved towards me slowly, reaching out to cup my face, sighing when I turned away. "Y/N, you need to talk about it, to me. Pushing it away will make it worse. Just let me-"

"No! I said no!" I yelled, making her flinch, "I don't wanna hear her name, or her health condition, or anything about Berlin! It's my fault she's in the hospital! It's my fault she is almost dead!" 

Ari's face hardened, and she grabbed my arm and flipped me around to face her.

"This is what I mean Y/N. It's killing you to push this away, don't you realize?!"

 She was holding onto my shoulders and was nose to nose with me, not breaking eye contact. 

"That's why I never bring up the subject, cause you get defensive and act like I'm not allowed to be concerned for your well-being. This is life, Y/N, and it's not easy! And acting like a stuck up brat who thinks they can push their wife away and act all depressed is not how you live it." 

I stared at her with wide eyes and a trembling lip. Ariana let go of my shoulders and hugged me tightly, kissing the side of my neck. I felt tear well up and my stomach start to drop. I started shaking but I refused to cry, not in front of her. She stroked my hair and whispered, "It's ok baby, let it all out." 

That was enough for me and I broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder. She held onto me through it all and said soothing things in my ear when I took a breath. Soon I was calm and I leaned into Arianas grasp. 

After about a minute or two I pulled away, wiping my runny nose. Ari took my hand and lead me back into our room, gently pulling me to the bathroom. She redid the makeup on my tear stained face and kissed my lips softly, squeezing my hips lightly. I smiled and ran my thumb across the ring on her finger. 

"I'm sorry Ariana, I should not have yelled at you. I've just been stressed and tired."

She smiled and kissed the corners of my lips, brushing the hair out of my face. "I know you've been stressed, that's why I've been worrying. We are married after all, and we get through troubles together. Think of what your mom would say if she was in this position." 

I gulped and looked down, biting my lip. Ariana knew that my mom was incredibly special to me and referring to her hit home hard. I forced myself to look up at her, my sharp 'your color' eyes meeting her comforting brown ones.

"She would say something like, 'You can't selectively numb your anger, any more than you can turn off all lights in a room, and still expect to see the light.'" I said, smiling at the memory of my mother comforting me in hard times. 

Ari gripped my hand and kissed it, letting her lips linger. I turned my head as I heard the muffled voices of people laughing and greeting one another. I smiled wider and turned back to my wife, meeting her eyes. 

"Let's go downstairs and have fun. Berlin would want us to." 

Ariana grinned widely and kissed my lips gently. I intertwined our hands and we both walked out of the bathroom to our guests, grinning like young lovers.

Wooo! 

I really liked this chapter, did you?

I worked hard and included a bit of backstory for y'all. 

TELL ME UR PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEXT PART! I WANNA SEE YALLS TEA