MEI AIHARA'S POINT OF VIEW

CHAPTER 29

Writer's note:

This is another Special Chapter wherein we take a peek at Mei's life without Yuzu.

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to the Music Artist. This chapter is my own.

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(Music up on the backgroud - Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch)

I'm back in this old room of mine.. alone...

This mansion... so big and yet so empty.. just like me... but not...

Yuzu... when I met you, you fill that emptiness inside me... but I...

I miss you... (sobbing while clenching her fist on her chest, holding the ring on her necklace that Yuzu gave her)

I'm so sorry.. I am such a coward...

In this room, I remember how you told me you will help me undo the shackle my family forced upon me... I... I know I was happy when I heard someone say that to me... but instead, I did something to you that almost caused your explusion from the academy.. if you haven't helped grandfather back then, what would have happened.. I can't imagine you being expelled because of my own doing..

Mei lay on her bed, holding a pillow to herself, while tears flow in her face...

Yuzu... you gave me everything, yourself... your heart... but I... what did I give you? sadness, pain and heartache...

How could I make this right? Who do I turn to?... I only have you, Yuzu.. and what did I do with that... I throw it all away...

Yuzu... I hope you can forgive me...

I love you Yuzu... you are my first... and I want you to be my last...

If only I could... but how... I want you Yuzu... only you..

I don't know how I can get through every day without you by my side..

At school, I want to approach you... but I can't..

I want to touch you.. and I miss your touch too...

These feelings that I'm holding back... its killing me... suffocating me...

The pain in my chest won't go away everytime I see you fake a smile when you are with your friends, our friends... I know you are hiding all the pain I've caused you...

I'm sorry Yuzu... I didn't have the courage to tell you ahead... I wish I have done something different to avoid you getting hurt like this...

Yuzu... I want to see you smile again... I want to bring the smile on your face again... but how? if I myself can't even force a smile on my face... cause you are not here with me... not anymore... and its all my fault...

What have I done... did I make the wrong decision?.. I thought I'd be happy.. I thought this will make me feel better... but its not...

Its so nauseating...

If I have told you, would the outcome be different? If I have let you helped me resolve this, would we be happier?

Grandfather, would he accept it... no, he won't.. I know... cause he was unable to fully accept father's decision to be free until now..

Yuzu... if only the circumstances were different... I want to choose you... I will choose you...

(Music fades...

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything
And nothin' at the same time
I want what's yours, and I want what's mine
I want you, but I'm not givin' in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall, I will lie awake
You're my shooting star//)