Broken - TommyInnit Angst

Chapter Eighteen - The Last Day

TW: mentions of self harm, purging and anxiety, panic attack

Also, I'm so sorry for the really long paragraphs in this chapter! I initially write it on Google docs on my school iPad, and I didn't know how long they would be 😅

Enjoy this chapter!

1194 words

~~~~~

The next few weeks flew by in a blur. Tommy’s parents arrived home a few days before Christmas, and Wilbur stayed over to celebrate with them. Tommy’s dad got on really well with Wilbur, with the two men mostly talking about the stock market and other boring stuff. Both of Tommy’s parents were unsuspecting about everything that had changed about the boy, and they thought he was as happy as usual.

Christmas was really cheerful, and even Tommy enjoyed it, despite running upstairs to purge after eating. Tommy received a lot of presents, many from Dream SMP members. He received a bunch of new LED lights, posters of his favourite musicians, new clothes, some cool shoes, and room decoration for when he’ll move to America.

Unfortunately to Tommy’s dismay, Wilbur had to leave two days after Christmas, and pack his stuff to move to America. Tommy spent the next two weeks packing for America, and making videos in advance, since he knew that it would take a while to get his stuff set up once he moved to the US.

~~~~~

Soon enough, it was the day before he had to fly out to the US. He sent his stuff to get shipped over five days ago, and Dream said it should arrive about the time that Tommy would arrive in the states. Tommy had so many mixed feelings about it. He would have to move away from the house that he had lived in for 16 years, and he would also have to leave his parents. He felt really bad about the latter, since he would be leaving the people that had cared about him for his whole life. He would also be leaving his room. The amount of memories that he had made there was insane. He was scared that his new room wouldn’t be as cool or have the same warm feeling about it. Tommy knew that he had to keep some things from it, so he disassembled his office chair, along with some other things, and got it shipped over. The time that he spent in his room over the last few days made him really sad, and he struggled to stop tears from spilling out of his eyes. However sad it was, he knew that having to say goodbye to his parents would be even sadder.

He also remembered Eryn and Freddie, two of his best friends from his childhood. The people who had helped his start his YouTube. He would most likely never even see them again in real life. That somehow hurt even more than not leaving his parents. He would obviously see his parents in the future again, but most likely not Freddie or Eryn.

However, those weren’t the only things that the boy was scared about. He knew that having to live with 11 other people wasn’t going to be easy, and it didn’t help that he would also be the youngest. He was just hoping that they wouldn’t all recoil at the sight of him, or kick him out for being too annoying.

No, they can’t do that to you. You paid for some of the house.

That was true, and it did comfort the boy a bit. But it didn’t stop him remembering that pretty much all the time there would be a lot of people around. A lot of people to potentially find out about how insane he was. He would have to be really cautious, and make sure no one finds his scars, or hears him purging. He would also have to go out and buy razors blades, but that wasn’t too much of a problem. He could just buy normal razors, say they were for shaving, and just take the actual blades out. If they for some reason wouldn’t let him buy them, he could always unscrew the blade from a pencil sharpener. If for some reason they wouldn’t let him have a pencil sharpener… well then he would find other ways to make his arms bleed.

Tommy spent his last day hanging out with Eryn and Freddie. Obviously he told them a few weeks ago that he was leaving, and the two of them were very sad and disappointed, but they knew that it was for the best. All they could do was be happy for Tommy, and make sure that their last day together was fun. Soon it got dark outside, and they all had to go home. They decided to bid their goodbyes on that day, just so that when Tommy was leaving the next day it wouldn’t get too emotional. The boy was very grateful with their decision, as he hugged them, saying goodbye with tears in his eyes.

Tommy headed back home, and got onto discord to talk to Wilbur, Tubbo, Niki, Phil and George about their flight tomorrow, double checking their tickets and passports. They all decided to meet up at the entrance of the airport, just to make things a lot easier. Thankfully, the flight was at 12pm, so they didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night. They all double checked if they had everything needed in their carry-ons, and also checked if everyone had phone credit in case someone got lost and needed to call the others. They decided that Tubbo, Tommy and George would sit on one row, and Wilbur, Phil and Niki in the row beside them.

After a while, Dream joined the call, and told them where he’ll meet them to collect them once they arrive. Since there were six of them, Sapnap would also drive to the airport to collect them. They said that the drive to the house wasn’t long, around 20 minutes.

Going through all of the plans put Tommy at ease, knowing exactly what will happen, and what to do in case something potentially goes wrong.

After they all finished talking, Tommy went downstairs to hang out with his family and dogs. His family made homemade pizza from scratch, and for once, he didn’t purge after eating it. He let himself enjoy his last day with his family, in the house that he had lived in for all of his life. He had a movie night with his family, while they all sat on the living room sofa, eating ice cream and brownies. At this moment in time, Tommy was more grateful for his family than he had ever been. It was peaceful, and quiet. He knew that the second he stepped into their house in the US, that would all be over. There would be constant noise, partying and someone streaming or recording.

After the movie ended, Tommy said goodnight to his parents, and headed off to his room. He lay in bed, messaging Tubbo on his phone. He was falling asleep, and one thought coursed through his mind.

I didn’t self harm today.

~~~~~