MOIRAI (Man*Man)

Chapter 36

*Love and Hate*

Bert leaned down pecking Elmer's lips as he breathed hard trying to get his heart back to normal as he lays next to Elmer on his elbow with Elmer laying on his back, his chest moving up and down heavily. Elmer knows one thing in his mind, he would love to do that again, feel that edge feeling. That electric but intense yet tingling feeling in his entire body "Have you done this before?" Elmer asked turning to Bert "With other men" Elmer added to specify what he was asking, Elmer doesn't know why he wants to know but he knows he does and it is eating him up inside.

Bert sighed, he didn't want to be talking about something like this right after the best time of his life but he can't jump over the question again like before "This was my first time too" Elmer gave him a look with raised eyebrows "If I told you would you have trusted me"

"Well yeah" Now it was Bert's tern to give Elmer the look "Okay, I would have been doubtful but I trusted you" Bert smiled pecking Elmer's lips again "So how did you learn?"

"You're really set on knowing this" Bert said with disappointment, Elmer broke the kiss yet he still wanted to taste those lips more "I have slept with one woman before and that was just to confirm my suspicion of liking men and it did, it showed me what I was because sleeping with her didn't feel like right now" Elmer nodded "I learnt what to do at this place where people like me meet and interact among themselves secretively and sometimes they sleep together"

"You didn't sleep with anyone there?"

"I wanted to but I was scared and they are not the ones I wanted" Bert wanted to try it so much but his fear took the best of him. He never wanted to risk getting caught having sex with a man he wasn't in love with in the first place, Elmer is worth a risk and that is why Bert doesn't care getting caught if it means he was with Elmer, he loves him and he is willing to do everything for him.

"Will you take me there sometime"

"Never" Bert said instantly confusing Elmer who asked why, he too would like to know people those people, if what happened between him and Bert makes him like them then yes he would like to meet them "I will never take you there, don't even ask"

"Why, I would like to know them"

"You don't know those guys they are...." Bert wanted to say it in the most respectful way possible but he believes there is no respectful way to say this so he just said it as it was "They will try to get in your pants and I mean that literally, those guys have a big sex drive. They will try stealing you from me and I can't risk losing you when I have just gotten you after such a long time of wanting you"

Elmer knows that Bert has explained why he loves him but he doesn't see it himself. He doesn't see why Bert would ever look at him and want him, he doesn't know if he will ever understand that, why would Bert be scared to lose Elmer when in reality no one has ever wanted Elmer and he thought no one will but now Bert is afraid to lose him. Elmer didn't know this feeling but he likes it, the feeling of feeling wanted and loved, the feeling of someone being scared to lose you "Would you like something to eat?' Bert asked

"Sometimes I feel like you treat me like a child"

"I just want to take care of you" Bert is in love with Elmer and he feels like he would like to give Elmer his whole, Bert sometimes feels like he can give Elmer the world and it will still not feel like it is enough, that is how much he loves and adores Elmer. Seeing him punished for something he didn't do broke Bert's heart but what broke Bert's heart the most was the fact that he couldn't do anything about it, he had to stay around and not be able to do anything for the one he loves and that is one thing he will regret for the rest of his life.