I love you 3000 (Tony Stark Fanfic)

Chapter 51: Therapy

Genevieve
A week later I now stand besides my brothers grave. It's hard to believe that he's gone. No one is taking this lightly, especially Steve and I. Bucky gave up his entire life to give me my own just to have his own father kill him. At least my parents are gone, there's no more threats.

I've talks to Tony about it and I'm no longer an avenger. I can't be constantly putting myself in these situations over and over again. I really wish he would call it quits himself but we all know he will be an avenger until the day he dies. Wanda hasn't shut up about becoming one ever since we came back and the idea of the terrifies me.

I understand she won't always be my little baby but imagining her being hurt the way Al of us have is unsettling. A part of me wishes she would always stay my little girl. Then I could always be there to protect her. She's already experienced so much hurt in her short life. Within a small amount of time she lost both of her uncles, one of which literally raised her.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" Tony pulls me out of my thoughts. I nod without saying a word. I feel his hand slip into mine gently. He always knows what to do to make me feel even the slightest bit of happiness. After the funeral we all head to our cars. "I'll meet you guys back at the tower, I need to stop somewhere first" I call out.

Before they can stop home I teleport away, I really don't want to answer any questions right now. My feet land in the daisy field where Bucky and I grew up together. It wasn't too long ago that we reunited in this very spot. I'm already fighting tears just by being here. I lay myself down and look to my right, almost expecting to see Bucky beside me. He isn't there. But someone is close.

I sit up and squint my eyes trying to make out the figure in the distance. As soon as my brain registers who it is, they're gone. Loki. What is going on with me. He's dead. No matter where I go I feel his eyes on me and there's no escaping it. His voice rings in my ears vividly. Whenever I cry it's like he's supporting me and I don't get it. I think I need help.

Before teleporting back to the compound I collect myself. "Hey Babe, you sure you're alright?" Tony asks as I head into the living room where everyone is. The tears start flowing instantly, I really thought I had those under control. He stands up and wraps his arms around me tightly. I cry into the crook of his neck harder than ever.

We sit down besides each other. "What's going on hun. I know you just lost your brother but there's something else. I can see it in your eyes" Gamora questions. I take in a deep breath, there's no way say this lightly. Hopefully they believe me. "I've- I've been seeing Loki" I say with a shaky voice. They all look at one another with confused faces.

"Well that's totally normal to feel him around you Genevieve" Steve chimes in. I shake my head quickly and sigh, "No Rogers. I physically see him. I hear his voice as if he's right beside me. It happened while I was fighting my mother, that's why I dropped my guard." I can see the concern on everyone.

Tony puts his hand on my leg, "I think you should start seeing a therapist honey. I know it's hard but Loki is gone. If you're seeing him and hearing him all the time then we need to fix that. You can't grieve if a part of you is still hoping he's alive. This isn't healthy." Although it stings, Tony is right. Loki isn't coming back and I need to get a grip on this.

*two weeks later*
My first therapy session is today. I'm having a lot of anxiety about it which definitely wont help. I know this is what's best for me but something about it just seems off. Obviously Loki is dead but I swear it's like he just shows up. Grief can come in many forms but I wasn't expecting insanity to be one of them.

I walk into the open office door to be greeted by a sweet older woman. "Hello dear you must be Genevieve" she extends her hand towards me. I shake her hand and nod, not saying a word. "I take it this is your first therapy session?" she smiles. I nod silently again. We go on with the session and I gradually open up to her.

It's hard to get help when you can't exactly say everything you've been through. It's not like I can tell her I killed my parents with my brother who I watched die because they were apart of Hydra. I try to sum up my situation with Loki since it was the real reason I was there. "Well honey, our mind can play many tricks on us when we are stressed. It's perfectly natural to feel his presence."

"That's just it ma'am, I don't feel his presence" I note. She gives me a perplexed look, "Then what do you mean?" I take in a deep breath and pick at my fingers, "I truly see him. I hear his voice and I see him pass me through the halls. It's like he's right in front of me. Almost as if he never actually passed." The doctor looks me up and down with a concerned look upon her face, "Well our time is up. This is something we need to go further into with our next session."

I walk out and hop into the passengers seat of Tony's car. "Hey honey, how was the first session?" He grabs my hand and gives me a lord on the cheek. "She thinks I'm crazy" I say shortly and don't talk for the rest of the ride home. I don't mean to be so snappy but I feel like I can't even trust my own brain.