poems for you. always for you. ✓

u n t i t l e d

this is about my ex best friend... it was kind of hard to write about her, but in the end it brought me *some* closure soooo it's worth it i guess?

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our friendship

had a loose rhythm

that was easy

to fall into,

easy to rely

on the swinging beat

of your heart

to remind my own

how a working one

should sound—

alive and love-bursting,

as if the whole world

lives in it,

everyone trapped in the

summer-dipped warmth

of your heartbeat

that always sings

the same words

you say

(you were always honest

that way)

and your full heart

didn't echo

with the hollow ticks

of gears and cogs

that make up my

steel wreck

of a heart

that is more machine

than life,

and maybe

just maybe

if we had more time,

you would've taught me

how to live

our friendship

was lovely

and boundless—

words fell out

of mouths

like summer rain:

sudden and sweet,

unfiltered.

our laughs

were fuller than the moon

when she's as whole

as the sun,

and on nights like those

we watched

high school musical

on repeat

despite my protests,

the bright glow of the tv

caught

in your hazel eyes,

popcorn spilled between us

in all its buttery glory,

and

knowing it'll be hard

to clean up

in the morning

when we're bleary-eyed

and sleep deprived—

i smiled.

because back then

the night

was ours

for the claiming

and the hours

stretched long

before us,

waiting to be filled

with songs sung

off-key

and waffles

from your freezer

and a friendship

kind of love

that's less flimsy

than any

romance

but soon

i felt you

slipping away,

as everyone does

eventually,

and for a time

i didn't let you go,

just simply watched

the sand

of what we had

fall through my fingers

and the days

fall into each other

and my heart

fall into itself,

caving in

from all its

twisted steel

corners,

not knowing

how to keep beating

without anyone

to wind it up

like a tinny music box

maybe i held on

for a little too long,

grasping at

a ghost-like love

that was always

chilling my bones

and leaving a home

of whirling emptiness

within me

i became a ghost

of myself

when i followed

our friendship

to the graveyard 

love,

mari