Yellow - in darkness can be found || Minsung fanfic🌻🍋

28

Slowly but surely me talking to him and befriending him turned into him keeping me out of trouble every time I bursted into a fight. One thing never changed tho. I never had gotten his name.

"Why won't you tell me your name."

....

"Cant you really just say anything otherwise it's just like I'm talking to myself."

....

"Fine." I huffed, the last words before ever seeing him again. His last few moments.

The next thing I remembered was me walking out of the woods in the dark. A weird yellow fuss coming out of my wounded shoulder. And the boy, my only friend, had had his last moment.

———

"Yah Jisung." Hyunjin shrugs my shoulder. Slightly startled I look up meeting Felix's eyes who stare back at mine worriedly. "Eh you know on second thought.... I should really go home." I quickly answer, walking away to a door that (I think) will leave me outside. "Eh hyung thank you for letting me stay and eh I'll take your clothes with me next time." I quickly add.

"Jisung you-" Hyunjin tries to stop me.

"Yeah bye." I open up the door. To the hallway.

"...You're not walking towards the front door...
That's a closet." Hyunjin says, humor obviously noticeable in his voice. "Come I'll lead you to the door if you really have to go now." He adds, chuckling loudly.

"Thanks..."

My face is obviously red so I try to keep it low, not looking at my friends and keeping on walking behind the oldest.

Once I'm outside and at a safe distance of Hyunjin's house I finally allow myself to let the tears flow. Those horrible memories that come back now and then, causing things I can't control.

I take out my phone, not knowing where I am and how I'm supposed to go home.

"Hyung, could you come pick me up?"

———

"So Ji, are you really not gonna tell me what happened?" My brother questions while pulling up in the driveway of my parents but staying inside the car waiting for me to explain.

I hesitate for a moments, a cold shiver running down my spine as even more tears trail down my tear-stained cheeks. "T-they came back." I while away one of the tears with my hand while staring down at the other one on my lap, fiddling with my fingers while waiting for a response.

My brother doesn't answer, I mean I wouldn't know what to would say in this situation either so it's understandable for him to be silent. He knows how much these memories have infected me in the past, them being almost the entire reason why I tried to end it. Guilt eating me up alive, even tho I'm not alive mentally, I'm just walking.

"I thought you said that you were over it?" He looks up, me being able to see him through the corner of my eyes.

I stay quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say before finally answering. "I thought I was too, but seems like I lied to myself again."

"Show me your wrists." He instantly proclaims.

"W-what, hyung, I-" I stutter desperately.

"I said show me your wrists." His voice is stable, unlike my own shaky voice.

"I-" tears threaten to fall down my cheeks once again.

"I can't." With those last words being said I open the car door, leaving my brother behind in our parent's car. He doesn't walk back inside nor does he turn around to look at me, he just sits silently, probably not knowing what to think or say and being disappointed in me once again. I can't blame him, I'm disappointed in myself too.

I just did what I do best.

I keep lying.

Not necessarily to others.

But more to myself.

But you don't seem to notice that.

Because I don't even realize it myself either.

———

I feel like I became a zombie~