" Nikka -girl, mapaanis laway mo kung hindi ka magsasalita. Look at the clock. Hindi yan titigil para sa'yo," wika ni Mehan na dahilan para mapabuntong hininga ako.
I took a deep breath and started narrating my story.
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" Ma! Si Hyouka po!" umiiyak na wika ni Linhua.
The terror she felt made her insides shiver but her mother remained calm, unmoved.
" No doctor could cure here. You already know that Linhua."
" Pero ma__!"
There are times when she doubt her mother. Hindi niya alam kung ina ba talaga nila ito o ampon lang sila.
She never care about them.
Not even once.
" I told you to supress your emotions. Until when are you planning to mess up Linhua? Hyouka can do it better. Nakakapanghinayang."
At the age of 8, she's been in the thin wall between hating and pitying her sister. Lagi na lang si Hyouka ang nakikita ng mama niya. She has to do what Hyouka can. She has to keep up her pace.
Sometimes she hated Hyouka for being too close to perfection. Sometimes, she pitied her for living such unhappy life in her limited time. Sometimes she pity herself for being the one left behind.
" Sorry if I can't accompany you long," wika ni Hyouka habang pinapanood nila ang papalubog na araw.
She didn't say anything.
" Linhua."
" Mmm."
" A guy told me that night sky is where dead people go. He said I would become a star and even after death, I could see you from above still ," anito na dahilan para mamuo ng luha ang kanyang mga mata.
She undoubtedly loves her sister. But she is forced not too.
" Sino ba kasi ang lalaking yun? Did mother know that you went out again?"
Hyouka smiled.
" Gusto ko rin makalanghap ng malayang hangin bago mamatay," she said and held her hand. " Yung lalaking yun, siya yung tipo na nababasa natin sa aklat."
" Talaga?! Naiinlove ka na ba sa kanya ate Hyouka?"
Tears fell from her eyes.
" He always wore dark colors. Masyado siyang moody at maatitude kaya wala siyang mga kaibigan. He usually sit in silence. Akala ko katulad siya ng mga normal na bata. But when we exchange conversation, I could say he's really poetic and profound. Ang dami na siguro ng libro na nabasa niya."
She envies Hyouka a lot. She's smart, she could make things done, she talks like an educated adult and she understands a lot of things.
Samantalang siya ay walang ibang iniisip kundi bakit si Hyouka na lang lagi. If there's a mutual dream between her and the adults, it's freedom. Because there's a thing around her neck that makes it hard for her to breath in sleep. And she always wanted to break free.
She want to mess up and cry like other children do. She wanted sweat a lot from playing and not from the sword training which she couldn't do well.
" Linhua, I didn't know his name but you would recognize him when you met."
" Bakit naman?"
