𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 ✔

7

"Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it's overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." -Vicki Harrison
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Jukyung and I sat down to watch Gowoon perform. I was holding up the poster I made last night cheering for her. I probably looked like those embarrassing mothers but oh well. Gowoon seemed to appreciate it as she smiled in our direction. Her performance was beyond amazing, her voice was so beautiful and she looked so confident.
A while ago, lim Jukyung had put her makeup skills to the test and transformed Gowoon. Not like it mattered since she was beautiful both ways. Everyone stood up and clapped in unison once she was done. It was truly outstanding. Me and Jukyung went backstage to congratulate her but someone had already beat us to it. Surprisingly, Han Seojun was giving her flowers smiling proudly.
"Han Seojun??" I blurted out
"What are you guys doing here?" He asked surprised.

Gowoon looked between him and us before saying "oppa, you guys know each other??"

Now I was really confused. Who could she be towards him? Seeing our confused faces, she let out a giggle and said "he's my brother guys. And oppa, they were the ones who helped me with my makeup and the bullies"
He nodded understandingly and smiled at his sister.
Not long after that, Jukyung had to go wear some weird costume with the girls and I made an excuse to not participate in that.
We all went to the basketball court and watched the match between Seojun and Suho's team. I held up the poster I made for Seojun's team as well. Seojun looked over in my direction for a few seconds and gave me his signature smile. I'm not gonna lie, that made my heart race. Darn you and your stupidly handsome face
Seojun's team sadly lost but they all ended it with no hard feelings.
As we were all sitting, an announcement suddenly came on regarding Se yeon, the trainee that had recently passed away. They were going to play one of his songs right here, right now.
Me and Jukyung looked at each other in panic because nothing good will come out of this. She went to look for Suho and all I had in my mind was Seojun and if he was alright.
Suho was having a panic attack so Jukyung stayed next to him. From afar, I saw Seojun observing them before silently leaving.
I ran towards him and saw that he was getting on his bike.
Before he set off, I ran in front of his path and blocked him from leaving with my body. He took off his helmet and came over dangerously close to me.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" "What if I ran over you Kang Haewon?!" He was furious and clearly wasn't thinking straight.
"But I know you wouldn't allow that to happen Seojun. I trust you enough" I took at step away from him before saying
"and you better not ride when your thoughts are a jumbling mess. You might get into a accident" I tried to stay calm but my voice betrayed me.
He brought his head down and silently started to sob. Seeing him in this state broke my heart into a million pieces. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help him feel better as a friend.
I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his torso and began to console him once I was sure that he didn't pull away.
"I blamed Suho for Se Yeon's death but seeing him break down and have a panic attack in front of me made me feel horrible."

"I'm disappointed in myself the most for not being as affected as he is"
I cupped both of his cheeks with my hands and made him look up at me.
"You are both going through the pain, it's just you have a different way of expressing it. Your silence and anger towards him showed how much you were broken inside. It's time for both of you to heal now. "

"You won't forget the pain, hardships, and fear but you will learn to carry on with your life using those memories to give you courage as well as joy. He was once apart of your life, you should embrace it now, stop neglecting the past Seojun"
I carefully wiped away his tears as he did to mine. I don't and cannot say that I understand their pain when I haven't experienced it myself. But I'll always be there to pick them up if they ever slowly fall apart.
There was once a saying "I will learn to live in the sunshine of your life instead of the dark shadow of your death"
It's a bittersweet message that goes for all of us, instead of grieving for the loss, think of the moments you had with them that made you the happiest. Don't think about what you could've done when they were alive, you did enough,
And they know that you tried your best
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