" Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive
Cause I won't give up without a fight "
"I'm so sorry Cal. I know I should have told you earlier, but there never was time and - you won't break up with me, or?"
"I could never break up with you. That's why I want to marry you. Especially not now when you need me most. How long do you have?"
"The doctor said that I'm lucky that I got so far. He said 2 years, not more. But I got over that limit once, so I'm quite sure that I can make it longer. I'll fight. I promise you"
"When did you got your diagnosis?"
"6 years"
"6 fucking years and you don't tell me?", my heart shattered. I knew it was wrong., I hoped that I could be cured and he wouldn't have to know.
"i know it was dumb hiding it from you. I'm sorry"
"I- I Don't know what to say. I'm pretty pissed, but on the other hand I don't want to lose you. Can I sleep a night over it"
"Sure. I'm sorry I'm ruining our wedding weekend with my silliness"
"You. Are. Not. Silly. And you are not ruining anything. I love you. And I'll always will. Even when you don't have hair anymore because of some chemo-thing. I don't care what'll happen to you. I will always be there and support you no matter what. Even though I'm pissed. I want you to know that you can tell me absolutely anything. Everything. I won't judge you. I want you to know that" I looked down on my hands and mumbled an excuse.
"Don't excuse yourself for anything", he whispered and peppered my face with kissed until he reached my lips and I found my hands in his fluffy hair. "I. Love. You.", he said inbetween kisses and I began giggling even though I felt salty tears on my face. I didn't knew if they were mine or his, or ours. But we didn't care as long as we had each other it was okay. No one knew what tomorrow would bring. You kinda just have to enjoy every part of your life as long as you're still here. As long as you still can.
I was afraid too. And I was angry too. With myself. With the fucking doctors. With fucking cancer. But most of all myself. For letting Cal down. For not telling him. For telling him. For everything.
"Now sleep, okay? Don't worry. Everything is fine." He kissed me one last time before we snuggled in together. I couldn't sleep, which was nothing new. But I felt that Cal wasn't relaxing either.
"Why can't you sleep?", he whispered in the darkness. He knew me to well.
"I don't know"
"But you're supposed to sleep"
"You too" I heard him lightly laughing and joined in.
Sometime deep in the night, we did fell asleep, holding hands. And I felt save. Save in his arms. Like he wanted to protect me from everything. But he couldn't. And we both knew that.
*
"Don't do anything stupid, okay?", I said to him before kissing him goodbye.
"Can't promise that", Mikey shouted from the background and we started laughing.
"I don't trust you guys", I said jokingly.
"You don't?", Ash pretended to be hurt but I saw a smile creeping on his lips.
"See you later", I exclaimed before Cal got in the car and they all drove away.
"Come on, we're gonna make ourselves a nice day", my mum
said and pulled me into the car.
"Mum, I'm still in sweatpants", I exclaimed, laughing.
"Oh, dear. Go on and change. I'll wait here", she smiled and I quickly changed into a new shirt and a black pair of skinny jeans.
We ate pizza, went shopping and after that just watched movies in mine and Calum's house.
We decided to move to Australia together after we found out that I was pregnant. We were in Australia most of the time anyways, so it didn't make much difference and so Cal would be closer to his band mates and wouldn't have to always fly here when they were doing something. He was away to often anyways so I didn't want him to be away even more. And since Australia was our home we decided to have a wedding here. Just with our families and closest friends. Which - by the way - weren't many on my side. I did invite Nick though. After all he was my best friend and we haven't lost contact over the years, a thing I appreciated very much.
It was after midnight when I herd a key turning in our door. I got up, expecting to see a completely wasted Calum and his mates. They all were there, but Calum wasn't as drunk as I thought he would be. I could smell the alcohol from the other boys, who had trouble keeping themselves up, but Cal was smiling at me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I felt the liquor on his lips but I could feel he hasn't overdone it.
"Hey", he smiled and the other boys giggled.
"You 'Kay?", Ash slurred and I nodded.
"How was your day boys?"
"Amaaaazing", Michael laughed and I joined him. They were cute drunk.
"Wanna come in?"
"No, we have to get going. Our girlfriiends are waiting for. Us ", Luke giggled and we said our goodbyes they went to the big black car standing in front of our house.
"Did you have fun?", I asked Calum after we laid down on our bed, cuddled together.
"Mmh", he said, starring in my eyes.
"Hey, what are you doing?", I smiled and looked down.
"Don't be shy around me", he said, pushing my chin up again, so I was forced to look into his eyes. "You are so beautiful. I can't believe you're mine" I blushed. "I can't believe we are going to marry tomorrow. Then you'll be legally mine."
"I can't believe it either. I can't believe how I ever got so lucky"
( I guess I'll just say I'm sorry again. I am. I really am, okay? I just don't have time anymore and I know this chapter sucks but sorry. I hope you enjoyed it. Please vote and comment. Love you guys xx)
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Random"Wish I could somehow go back in time and maybe listen to my own advice" {English}
