BACK THEN *ON HOLD*

C H A P T E R E I G H T E E N

" And yeah, yeah, yeah I'm a lot to handle

You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal "

2016

"Morning guys", I said, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Morning Cal"

"Where's Chrissy", Ash asked.

"she stayed up late last night, talking to her mum, I let her sleep." And then I added quietly "She doesn't get that much sleep, but she refuses to talk about that with me. It's like phases. Sometimes She's in a really good mood and all happy and sometimes she's all thoughtful and -"

"Who is thoughtful?", she asked, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"You", I said, kissing her nose. She started giggling and the boys rolled their eyes. I winked at her and pulled her into my arms. "I love you"

"I love you too, Cal-Pal" she giggled and pressed her head against my chest. Mikey coughed and we quickly stopped. Chrissy looked down, a bit embarrassed but still smiling.

"It's Christmas next month", I said waiting for Chrissy to finish the breakfast. She was still the only one who knew how to do a proper cooking. She never complained because she knew if she would we would be back to eating pizza the whole day.

"I feel like the last Christmas is a week ago", she said sighing and put the breakfast onto the table. I pulled her onto my lap and nuzzled my head in her shoulder.

"Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes" She began giggling as I started to sing her favourite song.

After we finished the song together I noticed that the other boys were filming us. "Stop that", I said, laughing but they shook their heads.

A minute later I got an Instagram notification. Someone tagged me on a picture.

I opened Instagram and saw a video of Chrissy and I. Ash posted it. The caption was : does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes. Aren't they the cutest?

I shook my head and Chrissy turned to see what I was looking at.

"Really?" she shook her head laughingly and snapped a picture of the boys making weird faces. Quickly she posted it on Instagram and wrote revenge is sweet.

A few minutes later we were literally in a fight about who could post the stupidest pictures of the others on Instagram. It all ended in the wifi breaking and leaving us without any internet.

"My mum will be furious when she comes home", I laughed and got up to attempt to repair the wifi.

We needed half an hour and a call to the guys who provides our wifi until we had Internet again.

It was three in the morning when we finally fell asleep, Chrissy in my arms, the boys in another room.

"I missed that", I whispered. "Sometimes I miss the old times, where we just were carefree and didn't think about writing songs, going on tour or how we present ourself to other people. Now we always have to be careful"

"You're living the dream Cal"

"I am. But I'm afraid that it will change me"

"It will never change you. I know you. I know the real you. You would never change because of the fame"

"Thanks for making me feel special", I said.

"You are special, don't doubt that. You just have to be reminded sometimes" She laughed a quite, a little bit sad laugh.

"And what is it with you in the last time? Really. You always seem so - sad, distracted. But in the next minute your happy again"

"I'm just - confused. That's everything"

"What about?", I asked, not backing away this time.

"Still about this thing with the fear. I can talk to so many people now, and I still don't know why. But there are still people, especially people I knew before I met you. I'm just confused. I need time. More time than I have. To figure this all out, but I have no time" A shiver ran down my spine.

"Thanks for telling me", I whispered. "Good night, remember I love you"

"I love you more"

And then we fell asleep, tangled in ourselves.

(Sorry it's so short but I have to tell you something. Back then will be over soon. I will at Least have 3 or 4 chapter more but I'm not sure about it. I just wanted to tell you that it will be over soon. It will maybe even get 10 chapters more, but I have no clue. It depends on my mood. Please vote and comment and spread the world. I want you to know that I love writing this book and Chrissy and Cal are so sweet and so. So don't be angry that it'll end soon. I love you guys! )