BACK THEN *ON HOLD*

C H A P T E R S I X T E E N

" We found wonderland

You and I got lost in it "

2015

I felt her head on my chest and stroked her hair. How did I ever get so lucky. I was living my dream. I had a wonderful girlfriend, the best job in the world and fans and friends and family who supported me. My three band mates were my best friends and my girlfriend was amazing. I loved her so much it hurt.

I saw her blinking and moving her head up from my chest. "Did I woke you up?", I asked seriously concerns, she didn't get that much sleep lately. She was talking to her mother until late night and after that she wouldn't fall asleep. I was really worried about her and tried to let her sleep as Much as possible.

"No, just had a stupid little nightmare", she whispered and closed her eyes again.

"Wanna tell me?" she shook her head. "Try to sleep again?"

"Okay" I kissed her forehead and she let her head sink on my chest again.

"Do you ever think about dying, Cal?" Now I was really worried.

"Not really, why?" I tried to sound calm but failed miserably.

"Just wondering. Goodnight" I pulled her tightly into my arms and kissed her hair.

"I love you", I said but she was asleep and didn't answer. Because of this late-night-conversation I wasn't able to fall asleep again so I just watched Chrissy sleeping. It was a peaceful activity and helped me calming down again.

What was wrong with her in the last time. I was really worried about her. Whey was she asking me if I ever thought about dying?

It was ten in the morning when Chrissy woke up again. I had spend the whole night thinking about what she said and I'm still not anywhere near understanding.

"Are you okay?", I asked her and kissed her nose.

"Yeah, what about you?"

"Good" I pretended to smile and hoped Chrissy didn't notice. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast", she smiled. Her smile seemed real but I knew her better, it was faked and it broke my heart. We got up and went to the kitchen where Chrissy made us all breakfast.

The other boys were playing Xbox on the TV and cheered when Chrissy sat the plates on the table.

"Morning boys", she smiled, still a fake smile but it was more open now. We all sat down and ate our breakfast. It was so quiet that it was scary and the boys noticed that so they started talking about irrelevant things, making us laugh.

I was still confused and worried but I tried to seem as normal as possible.

Today was the last day of our first worldwide headlining tour. We all had mixed emotions. On the one hand we were sad, because this tour was an amazing experience, but on the other hand we were glad, that we were able to go home. after this tour we had to produce a new album and we announced our next tour for the beginning of 2016 where we would visit all the countries we hadnt visited this year.

"Where are you going after tour?", Chrissy asked me.

"The first month I'll be in England and after that I'll have to fly to Australia again, recording the new album"

"Okay"

"Why are you asking?"

"Just wondering"

"You know you can tell me anything?", I asked her, meaning it.

"Yeah, you sound like my mum", she giggled lightly and I kissed her hair.

"You don't know how much I love you Chrissy", I whispered against her hair and saw her smiling.

"I bet I love you more" It was a sad smile she smiled but I tried to ignore it. She was okay. She has to be okay. Or she would tell me, wouldnt she?

"Nah, that's impossible" Now she laughed, a real laugh, which shook her whole body. It was the same contagious laugh as always and I quickly joined her.

"Boys, out, now, we're havin' soundcheck in twenty mins", one of the body-guards said. He had a southern accent and his name was Greg. I grabbed Chrissy's hand and led her out of the tour bus, quickly grabbing my bass and all the other things I needed.

"Last concert", I whispered as we all set up the things we needed for soundcheck. Chrissy squeezed my hand one last time and waved as she went backstage.

After finishing with soundcheck we went backstage and did what we always did. Mostly stupid things.

"Half an hour", Greg said and we got up to get ready.

"Good luck, I love you, remeber that, yeah?", Chrissy said.

"Always, I love you more" I kissed her and we had five minutes left. "Tell me whats up later?", I asked and she nodded. "Pinky Promise?"

"Pinky Promise." She stook out her pinky and we connected them. I kissed her hand before going on stage and having the last concert for this tour. I enjoyed it, as always, but Chrissy's behavior got me a bit distracted.

After we ended the last show we got backstage again to see our whole families waiting there. We all were overly excited and I got tears in my eyes. They flew to America to see our last tour. It was so long since i hadnt seen them so I hugged them extra tight. My dad was also there and Chrissy was standing in the background. After I chated a bit with my family I went to her.

"It was your idea, wasn't it?", I asked and she nodded shy. "Can you - CAn you talk to them?" She nodded again.

"It's still weird, you turned my whole life upside down and I'm so grateful for that. I don't know what I would do without you", she said and I squeezed her hand.

"You turned my whole life upside down too and I'm more than grateful. And I don't know what I would do without you either"

"Hey, you're coping my speech!" She smiled.

"Sorry"

"What if some day we can't be there for each other again"

{Chapter 16 is here and I hope you like it. Please vote and comment and spread the world would literally mean the world to me!
~Lara}