since eighth grade. → markiplier

Chapter Forty-Seven: Ice-Cream & Sophie Müller

Chapter Forty-Seven: Ice-Cream & Sophie Müller

 

Ellie

 

It's been about twenty four hours since I've arrived in Ireland, and Sean has realized that I may be staying here for a little while. I feel so awful for laying all of this on him and, even though I had offered to go and find a hotel to stay in, he had insisted on letting me stay here.

 

I sit cross-legged on my bed, my hands resting on the lid of my laptop before I shakily open it. I dread opening it because I know that going onto YouTube will be irresistible, and seeing his face and maybe even his videos would be inevitable.

 

I hold a tub of ice-cream close to me, knowing that I would probably cry into it. This is what it has been like for the past couple of hours - crying into a tub of ice-cream until I either pass out or make myself physically sick. It's not very pretty, but pigging out and just crying constantly is one of my many ways of grieving.

 

Without another moment's hesitation, I open the laptop and switch it on. My grip on the cold tub has become tighter, and, with shaking hands, I set it down in fear that I might drop it. It's ridiculous, I know, but I would probably burst into tears if I dropped it. The tiniest thing could make me cry right now; I am very fragile at the moment.

 

"Mother fucker!" I hear Sean yell from his recording room, his voice a little muffled due to the soundproof pads that he had set up around the walls that surround him. I smile weakly, my heart pounding a little harder when I think about recording and many of my previously uploaded videos. I had a few pre-recorded videos that I had uploaded to avoid any suspicion of my absence, but, because I hadn't planned this, I ran out within a day. A fucking day.  My twitter feed had practically blown up because of it, and messages demanding new videos or questioning where I was were still coming through.

 

My phone, placed next to my laptop, buzzes for a moment and sets alight fear and dread inside of me. Was it him?

 

Frantically, I scooped up my mobile and unlocked it, my eyes swimming across the screen to see who the sender was.

 

Alan: Hey guuuurl

 

I let out a breath of relief yet disappointment. Though I wanted desperately to talk to Mark, I was too scared to be the one who popped up to him or too afraid to see what he had to say to me. He had every right to be mad, though Mark isn't really an angry person, and I expect the worst every time my phone lights up with a notification.

 

Ellie: Hey Alan.

 

Alan: What's up girl??

 

I sigh, not really wanting to open up to another person.

 

Ellie: everything is good bc i got ice cream and ice cream is the best