Mean Something (Jemily)

Chapter 34 - Hospital Lights (Emily POV)

Once again the team and I found ourselves sitting in a brightly lit waiting room. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. At least we were given a private room to work through our emotions. Garcia had just arrived walking through the door, it closing roughly behind her "Any news?" She asked frantically rushing over to us. I looked up at her shaking my head now before returning to the position I've been in the past few hours. Hunched over in what could be the most uncomfortable chair I've ever sat in, elbows rested on my knees as my clasped hands held up my chin. I've been staring at a photo of the ocean hung on the wall in front of me long enough to memorize it. The blue hues mixed in a way that reminded me of JJs eyes. I miss her beautiful eyes.

Everything moved around me as if I were fast forwarding through a movie. Various members of the team walking in and out of the room, changing seats, getting coffee, talking to officers. I jumped a little feeling Rossi's hand on my back as he took the seat next to mine "She's going to be okay." He said softly rubbing my back in a fatherly way. "Jareau family?" We all jumped to our feet and shot our attention to a man, he looked exhausted, scrubs were wrinkled and I watched his eyes widened at the sight of 6 agents surrounding him "Were her family." Reid answered. He shook his head and took of his scrub cap before adverting his eyes to the clipboard in his hands "My names Doctor Toni, I was the main doctor assigned to Agent Jareau's case..." he started "She's in rough shape. We were able to put a stop to the internal bleeding from the blows she sustained, as well as close up some of the larger stab wounds..." he trailed off "Is she going to be okay? Can we see her?" I heard my voice crack. He glanced down once again at the clipboard flipping to a different page before answering me "She's currently stable but not awake. We should expect her to start waking up within the hour but she's could to be in a lot of pain. Listen the damage done to your friend was not minor. In addition to what I mentioned before she has a few cracked ribs and sustained a nasty concussion. Assuming all goes well when she gains consciousness and we can avoid any serious infection, she should make a full recovery." I felt like all of the weight was lifted off my shoulders listening to the doctor explain she was going to be okay.

"When can we see her?" Garcia asked quickly. The doctors eyes glanced between us "Coming off of anesthesia can be a rough process for the patient, even rougher when they're in this bad of shape. I can have one of you to sit with her until she wakes up, but before we can confirm her condition isn't worsening that's all I can allow." He flipped the pages back to their original position and rested the board at his side "If you have any more questions or concerns don't hesitate to find me or one of the nurses. Someone will be in shortly to escort one of you to the patients room." With that he turned to leave and we were left in silence once again.

Everyone decided I'd be the first to go see her, even though JJ was my girlfriend I wasn't sure I'd be the person she wanted to see. Guilt weighed heavy in my chest as I called Will explaining the situation. He asked me to keep him updated and to let me know if they needed to travel down there. I agreed hanging up the phone and returning to the waiting room. A nurse eventually made it back to us, letting everyone know a small update before leading me to JJs hospital room. "Now Agent Prentiss, like we said she's in rough shape. We were able to remove the breathing tube and she's been fine on her own but don't worry too much if she coughs or takes uneven breath, the bodies still trying to figure out what happened and take over the subconscious.." I nodded not saying a word "Here we are" We stopped in front of one of the many doors in the hallway "The machines will sound if anything goes wrong, but if you have a question or need one of us there is a button on her bedside that will alert us to her room."

The nurse left me standing in front of her room without another word. I was hesitant to open the door but eventually worked up the courage taking a deep breath. I fought against my emotions seeing JJ laying in the hospital bed wires and tubes attached to her small frame. There was heavy bruising around her face, lip still red and swollen dramatically. I walked toward the bed, letting the door close softly behind me. The silence was broken with small consistent beeps coming from the various machines. I took her hand in mine as I sat down at her bedside. I wanted to cry but no tears would form "I'm so sorry..." I whispered moving her hand up to my lip, planting small kisses. My mind raced as I sat there numb. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to be feeling right now. Joy that she's alive? Sorrow because she's hurt? Anger towards Matthew? Guilt knowing I'm the reason she's here? My emotions and thoughts fought internally as time ticked by.

"Emily...?" Looking up, I met her baby blue eyes with mine and tears streamed down my face "I feel like I was hit by a bus." She coughed. I let go of her hand and moved around the room "Uh here's some ice chips. Don't talk too much, you had a breathing tube removed not long ago." JJ nodded as I handed her the small foam cup. "Are you in pain? Do you want me to get the doctor?" "Not yet. What happened?" she whispered. I tried to swallow but my mouth was dry "Uh. Matthew, the husband of a detective who died under my watch in London... He took you from out outside of the station... held you for hours. You're hurt... bad. But the doctors say you're going to be okay." JJ stared up at the ceiling, I could see her eyes changed as she tried to make sense of the situation before her. "I'm so sorry." I cried "This is my fault. You shouldn't be here and I'm so sorry..." I felt her squeeze my hand "You saved me."

I alerted the doctors to JJs room "She's awake.." I said as they walked in "Agent Jareau, I'm doctor Toni. We need to ask a few questions and run a few more test now that you're awake. Is that okay?" JJ nodded softly. The nurse ushered me out of the room, promising we'd be allowed back as soon as they were finished. Back in the waiting room everyone's eyes locked on mine "She's awake. In a lot of pain but the doctors are running a few test and said they'd get back to us as soon as they were finished." I felt the air in the room change as everyone physically relaxed. Reid walked over to me immersing me in a tight hug. I rubbed his back slightly "She's going to be okay." I whispered, guilt still pinging in my chest.