Emery [bxb]

147

I drive home in a daze. A couple yards out from Aly's house, I feel like someone is excavating a hole in my chest with a butter knife. I pull over and vomit on the side of the road.

I call Emery the next day and he doesn't pick up, so I leave an awkward apology voicemail.

"I know I keep you letting you down, and I'm sorry. You're way too good to be friends with me but I was drunk, and not thinking straight. Um."

I've always been letting him down. I've broken so many girl's hearts, and Emery's along with them. He was right. Subconsciously, I knew I didn't like women and I took my anger out on them. I felt so much anger and self-loathing. I felt despicable and disgusting and I projected it onto others.

Emery isn't like me. He's an angel, and he deserves to be happy. I don't wanna fuck things up for him, but it hurts that I used to have all of him and now I have to give up more and more of him. Because of my job, I can't even wear that damn friendship bracelet he made for us when we were kids.

And then I look down at my ring finger and the permanent reminder there, and my spirit soars instantly. I drive the rest of the way home with a smile.