My Own Songs

Numb

Okay, let's start with something dark as fuck.
I can tell you now if I had a gun pointed at my head,
My last words would be thank fucking god!
You gave me a feeling, kind sir, thank you!
I've been emotionless for forever now,
Yet this huge action only raised my caring meter a smidge.
I can barely feel physical pain but that don't suck.
What sucks is all I feel is fucking dead,
But don't mistake me for a complaining sod.
I haven't cared about myself for, whew,
Over a decade has passed since my bow.
I bowed and bid feelings away til they were a smudge.
/I'm NUMB!
Numb to caring about myself whatsoever!
Numb to the pain of heartbreak!
Numb to the crippling depression! (Sometimes)
Numb to undying anxiety! (Not really)
It's all thanks to my mind fucking shattering!
My emotions will get the better of me eventually,
But for now I'd like for them to numb til I'm okay./
I've been beaten and broken into so many pieces,
I don't know how to truly love another soul.
I can care and care and want to protect you,
But I will never be able to fall in love it seems.
I blame this emptiness in my heart,
For I can never fucking fill the void!
This is a hell I cannot avoid,
And I feel my life becoming shorter!
/CHORUS/
Come on now, brain, work with me here!
Come on, heart, start beating for me again!
I wanna go back to being a child,
An innocent being with no knowledge of the world,
But I can't fucking help this feeling anymore!
I feel like cutting myself down with sheets,
Or just hitting my head with a frying pan!
Why does this hell have to get so wild?
I'm tired of my mind going down in a swirl,
And sick of my heart feeling fucking sore!
/CHORUS/