My Own Songs

Reasons for Living

I've been burning for years now,
Walking through hell's fire pits.
Engaged in a war no one will really know.
I've gotten myself torn to tiny bits,
And I've thought about ending it all.
Only Lord and I know how many times I tried.
Right now I'm at the edge and wanna fall,
Because my mind is just so damn tired.
/But I can't go, not yet.
I have things to do before then.
I have to make sure everyone is okay,
Even if they never made sure I'm sane.
And everyone who has shown me the light,
I need to repay them with all my might.
For years I just wanted to start breathing,
But instead I found the reasons for living./
I have nightmares almost every night,
And it has turned me into an insomniac.
I almost always stay up til there's sunlight,
And on some nights I even have a panic attack.
I'm so sick and tired of all of this depression,
It's slowly but surely dragging me down to my death.
The worst part is the nightmares are about my confessions
To everyone who knows my story and what is my path.
They're always about me being left alone to die in the emptiness,
And I will say sometimes I wanna do just that, die in the void.
/CHORUS/
I'm so sorry if I was a burden to you,
That was the last thing I wanted to happen.
It just helps to tell someone what I'm going through,
But if you don't wanna listen I'll stop my yappin'.
It's because most don't want to listen I become cautious,
For even if you want to listen I sometimes won't believe it.
It's because of this fucking voice I've become suspicious.
And it's because most people won't listen that I just wanna quit.
I don't want to make your day shitty with my life,
So go about your day and ignore me if you want.
I'm now thinking about leaving this world anytime.
/But hold on now, I can't go yet.
Who will take care of my siblings then?
My parents are on a clock and I gotta be ready.
I still have friends that attempt to keep me steady.
I won't throw that away because of a voice in my head!
Yes I'm slowly losing it all, my heart and my mind,
But I need to keep on walking forward through the fires,
Even if these panic attacks and insomnia makes my life expire.
I found all my reasons for living in this world,
And I won't stop living til I'm dragged down to the underworld./