Just Wanna Quit

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There's a raging demon inside of me,
And it doesn't stop trying to take over.
It's a constant battle and the price is my soul.
I can feel how I slowly lose my sanity,
And I don't think I can keep this up much longer.
I know sooner or later I'm gonna do something awful!
This bullshit is slowly killing me on the inside!
/I put on this stupid fucking mask,
To hide my terrible battle scars.
I don't want to worry anybody with my issues,
And this fucking voice in my head won't let me ask,
Ask for things I can't even figure out what they are!
My soul is being snuffed out and I don't know what insues,
But I'm fighting and right now I just wanna quit!/
I get this constant urge to just break down,
But I know that if I do I won't get back up.
This war is taking such a toll on my body and mind,
I just wanna stop time and go fucking drown!
No one would even know I went for a dip.
Why the hell do I deserve this when all I try to do is be kind!?
I just want this fucking nightmare to finally be over!
/Lord I know you're fucking listening up there,
I've been talking to you for forever now,
But I'm still waiting for you to answer my prayers!
Why would you put me through this hell when all I've tried to do was care?!
Know what, I don't wanna know why, just tell me how,
How the hell could you put a fucking kid through the fires!?
If this is some kind of fucking test then I just wanna quit!/
It takes every fiber in my being not to waver,
For I feel if I do I'll fall all the way down to true hell.
I can feel the fires slowly creeping up my back,
But all I can do for now is move forward and be braver!
I can only tell a few people but I know I need out of the shell,
I'm so sick and tired of pretending that my world isn't black!
This war needs to end so I can finally find some damn peace!
/I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not scared,
I've been terrified since I was a little boy.
If I had the power I'd wipe my memory clean,
Even peoples' memories that have shown they cared,
For I don't want to take away their joy.
I don't want people to know this stupid depressed teen!
I just wanna quit this bullshit before I finally lose my sanity!/

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This song came to me after having the worst nightmare I think I've ever had. This one..just hurt, period.

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