Darkest of Souls [RWBY X Badass Male reader]

Part 12

Pyrrha has just beaten the shit out of crdl

Cardin: lucky shot...

He falls to the ground as a far off voice speaks

Voice: cap!

Glynda: very good ms. Nikos, you should have no problem qualifying for the tournament.

Pyrrha: thank you professor

Glynda: now I know that will be a tough act to follow but we have time for one more match... blake you have been rather docile

???: like, I'll do it dude

Glynda: shaggy was it? Let's see if we can find you a partner...

You stand up in a disguise

You: I'll do it!

Glynda: and who are you?

You: my name is J. Jonah Jameson and I'm here for one thing... i want pictures of spider-man!

Glynda: very well, get into your battle gear and come down.

You both enter the arena

Glynda: begin!

You and shaggy speed toward each other and your fists collide. He leg sweeps you and you fall to the ground. He stands over you and throws a punch that you roll to your left to avoid.

You: get me pictures of spider-man!

You pull a spoon from your back pocket and run at shaggy

Shaggy: like, what the hell is wrong with you?!

He dodges your spoon attack

You: I know you have pictures of spider-man!

Shaggy: like, who the fuck is spider-man?

You yeet the spoon at shaggy and he catches it in mid air and it disintegrates. Shaggy doesn't look where he's going and accidentally steps out of the arena

Glynda: mr Jameson has won, it would seem you should be more careful about where you go in a fight mr Rogers.

Shaggy: like, fine

The bell rings and you dissapear behind a conveniently placed pillar and reappear in your classroom without a disguise on anymore.

Students filter in and as cardin and his team are walking in

You: get your faggot asses down here

They come down to stand infront of your desk

You: get the fuck back to your seats dipshits

They look confused and go back to their seats.

Everyone is now in your classroom and you stand up from your desk, somehow you did not notice neo sitting there eating an icecream

You: oh hey neo, didnt notice you there

She just smiles and goes back to her icecream

You stand in the middle of the room and point to neo

You: this is neo, the only reason she is here is because she is fucking adorable. Now on a totally unrelated note

You pull a chalkboard out of nowhere and draw an outline of a female on it

You: ok this will be the most important thing I teach you in this class, so listen closely

You point to the tits of the outline

You: some of the guys here may think that this is important, but that is bullshit

You point to the thighs

You: that right there, that is the good shit. Thighs are the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. They are scientifically proven to be better than tits, because one, thighs can be used for... hold on I have to call someone really quick

You pull out your  scroll and call ozpin.

You: hey oz, can I get into any legal trouble at all?

Ozpin: you're just now asking this? You literally did coke off of a hookers ass during class!

You: oh yeah... so is that a no?

Ozpin: yes, the law dosen't apply to dead people. And you technically dont have a heartbeat.

You: cool see ya

You hang up

You: anyway, thighs can be used or anything from pleasure to being used as weapons, and are just an overall pleasant thing to look at. I would like to demonstrate but not all of you are legal, which is more or less just a moral thing than a legality for me

Everyone is looking at you, neo has a seductive grin on her face

You: anyway uhh, I dont know, write a uh let's say two page essay about your opinion on how tits or thighs are better. It's due whenever it gets done. I'm gonna go take a nap in my dorm, if you have any questions dont bother me.

You teleport to your room, you undress and put on your pajama pants that say "fuck off" and you lay down under the blanket

Not ten minutes later you hear the door open then close. You open one eye to see neo in her icecream themed pajama pants and a tank top. She sees your eye open and smiles

You: that smile makes me both extremely scared and extremely horny

She laughs and crawls into bed and cuddles up to your chest, you hold her close. You look down and make eye contact with neo

Neo: y/n?

You: yes?

Neo: why did you let me stay with you?

You think for a moment

You: well, for one you're absolutely adorable, for two... I dont know, i guess that you kinda remind me of myself, after I died and went to Lordran gwyn took me in and helped me. I mean, after that he sealed me in a coffin and then eventually an asylum for a few hundred years. But still he helped me... I guess I just remembered how I felt back then when I was alone.

Neo: you were the first person to ever acknowledge my existence in a nonviolent way... thank you

You: no problem icecre-

Neo reaches up and kisses you softly on the lips, you were surprised at first and then lean into the kiss. She pulls back and you two just set there for a few moments in a comfortable silence.

You: i- I love you neo...

Neo: I love you too

She buried her face in your chest, you lean down and kiss her on her forehead before closing your eyes and going to sleep.

Ok so, as you can see this book is getting weirdly emotional and shit but I have a general idea. You will continue to be an edgy meme lord that traumatizes your students until the end, anyway imma head out