The Summer Warmth

Eleven~

Those Same Amber Eyes.

Chapter 11

After welcoming my defeat and my constant poor tries, I give up knowing how there's no way Ishaan is going to let this talk slide under the rug. My eyes roam around the room and finally,

I am now sitting on my bed, with him sitting opposite to me with patience while I am building up the courage to start this topic.

Thinking about how everything happened a year ago and how it changed my life, damaged me in the worst possible way makes a shiver run up my spine. How exposed I feel every night with the real feeble state of mind. How everything around me seems to go at the slowest pace possible leaving me in a dark hole I cannot escape with the acceptance of how every night I lose a part of me that screams in pity that bubbles inside of me.

How at this very moment I can feel the race of my heart pick its process of pumping anxiety rather than the blood but all I can do is stand up to it physically which again feels too lost to even find the correct rhythm. The harsh rubbing of my hands together is generating enough friction to tear the skin that is wildly throbbing against the aroused push of my veins and nerves. My eyes going in the same direction that my nerves are providing against the pale skin of my wrist and the loss of its significance is where the darkness of my thoughts starts to mark and continue.

The experience of my overdrive seems to finish or stop when I crane my eyes above me to see the person who lightens up something in me of which I can't seem to pull back. The determination in his eyes has now crumbled down in pieces and forming a new wall of softness and sympathy. The realization he has been seeking all, for now, to know how agonizing this whole process is tearing me up. Though the same consciousness has now drawn itself to me about how I owe him the very explanation of my inhumane acts and for him to try and appreciate the parameter of situation that is drawn out of my austerity.

While thinking about it a bit longer, I see him get up from my bed and come to my side with a calm expression and a small smile on his face. Before I could make a movement and question him, he wraps his arms around my body all while making me sit down and pat my back slowly in a repetitive beat to serene me peacefully. I am not shock but a little surprised to see him not forcing me upon myself to talk about something so dark and poisonous. The continuation of holding me against his chest and rub my back making me comfortable and for me to do the same with him felt the first thing close to normal. After some minutes of solace, he removes his hands from my back and now replaces them with cupping my cheeks.

"I am sorry for forcing you to do something that you are not comfortable talking about. I just want to assure you that I am with you no matter what, so take your time and talk to me whenever you are comfortable, you have all my attention and support." listening to him saying something like this makes me snivel up pretty quickly. I nod my head with a small smile, grateful that he understood me. With that done he gives me a quick peck on my head and heads out.