The Summer Warmth

Fifty-Eight

Can You Forgive Me?

Chapter 58

It's been two weeks to everything. Since the unintentional confession of Jade since that night. My doubts were justified when the next day the space beside me was left cold and empty. Though the sniff of his scent was the only fact of presence that made me perceive of his existence wasn't a beautiful dream but a realistic incident. To say things have changed, since then.

For the better, I would like to believe.

I would admit that I had a week to myself where I preferred not to meet a soul besides finding mine. To think that I still had a chance to bring the self that molds the real me back and after ignoring each and every negative thought and dark incident that replayed in my mind in a continuous reel made me believe that I can do it not just for myself but the people who have been silently supporting my choices and praying for me to fight this alone is what's holding them back right now, my wish to feel again without any hesitation or penny of the second self.

I wanted to fight alone this time and they very well accepted my plea though, after a lot of opposing thoughts, they still accepted it, they knew there is no choice in it, and for that, I am going to eventually let them in. This was another sign after Jade's talk that they are around me no matter what. My choices treated them badly and I knew every second it and even did they, but the choice of continuous visit knowing very well that the motive of me opening my door on the other side will not be fulfilled but they still came in pairs each and every day and that had my heart swell at the thought and presence.

How do I know all this? Even though I had said no to any movement of nurses, there was one who made it through her way in my heart. A sixty-seven-year-old nurse with wrinkles stretched on her face and her white but shiny hair in a tight bun always intruded in the room even after the doctors' constant negative answers she ignored them all like a bitch boss and still made her way into my room and sat for hours. I still remember the conversation with her one day which brings a small smile up to my lips.

Day Eight.

It's 5:30 in the evening and all I can focus my look is on the big country glass that is changing its hues constantly before the darkness overshadows them It feels like they are breathing the air of freedom in a minimal time before everything goes black with the mind of diversity replacing itself with the mindless state of an apocalypse.

The time ticks to 5:45 and the sensor in me is blaring with its red siren that the door to the other side is on the verge of opening anytime now. And just with that thought, the snaping of the wood alerts me and a second body comes inside the room with silent steps. My heartbeats tend to raise even though knowing the identity of the intruder but settles itself quickly once the fragrance of the sweet caramel tea makes its way to my heart and helps it calmly with its natural aura.

My gaze shifts to the old Asian lady that has been keeping up the routine of intruding on my privacy since the third day and there is nothing that I or the doctors can do. I because have never said a word to her and doctors because she fails to listen to them. Or that she just doesn't want to.