The Summer Warmth

Sixteen~

I promise.

Chapter 16

Miserable would be an understatement of what I am feeling right now. After visiting Valarie, I felt the only emotion that I was dreading forever to never come back to me. A mixture of regret, guilt, self-condemnation, and some other emotions with which I don't even know I have collided before. Everything broke down the moment Valarie snapped at me for almost saying the exact shit line to her. How could be so stupid to repeat that, I shouldn't have let my anger and hatred take over me at that point?

I shouldn't have. I do have some real anger issues after all.

But the thing that actually was shocking to me was Valarie saving me from her brother. Her brother was a fucking walking bulldozer who would kill anyone with one snap of his finger if anyone even dared to look at his sister and that I could see him radiating fire against his body when he was walking in concern towards her.

I seriously thought that it was the end for me, but at the same time, he controlled everything in him to punch something in the room, most probably me only if he wasn't seeing red and would have noticed me in the room, though one single voice of Valarie and he controlled himself to notice her non-physical damage. When she placed her hand on his back and told him that she was okay, he calmed himself right there and released a sigh of relief. To be honest, it was very heartwarming to watch their relationship unfold in front of me, but what would I feel about it?

A person who has his own problem of ruining things and anger issues which makes everyone stay away from him? Who will like to look up to me when I am a fucking demon who only knows how to hurt and hate but never love someone?

Maybe Father is right, I am a mammoth who does nothing but spread bleakness around without even acknowledging it. And now after seeing Valarie in this condition I have got to accept this theory of being one;

A monster!

Valarie from the start has been nothing but good to me, maybe not good but even that I am sure is my fault. I have seen her sometimes walking down the corridors, always putting up a smile whenever she is talking to somebody not caring about how tired she is, actually enjoying her time with children even when I know how nuisance they can be. Even after bearing everything, she keeps her calm and always is nice to everybody.

I remember asking Joey about her and an instant smile crept on his face, a proud one when he told me how she is one of the important pillars of this house. He continued by saying how like other people who are teaching and working here, Father was persistent to pay her for her service but she managed to refuse him every time. Since then, for the continuous five years, she has been working every summer and some weekends of every schooling month not because of greed or selfishness but out of respect and exultation, which made me feel worse for calling her fake and an attention seeker.

He mentioned one more thing that is still stuck in my head that she always used to beam brightly while talking to everybody she saw before, but for the past year she tries to distance herself from everybody, and even now, though she has been smiling every time, it doesn't reach up to her eyes as if trying hard to feel content but failing miserably in finding one.

What would have happened a year ago that made her be and feel like this?

It really intrigues me whenever I see her. She intrigues me. I want to know more of her, prattle with her till my jaw is tired of even opening, smile with her where she can actually feel herself at the moment with all filled inside her is delight and purity, and, on the outside, only the sound of our laughter.

Maybe that is the reason why I keep nosing in her business in one or the other to try gaining different expressions and attention from her. Even if I seem like a cocky bastard whenever I am talking to her, it's what I want and hope sometimes in the future that I can actually be with her in every sense possible. But for the first time, I am scared.

Scared of ruining her more than myself.

Scared of even thinking that something like that can happen between us!

I have always ruined myself without a second thought but now placing her in that position really terrifies me. So, as I thought before, I have to do everything in me to ignore her if I don't want her to be like me.

I want her to be a flower, who everyone wants to touch, feel, and gets the feeling of joyous whenever they see it and not a weed like me who is the unwanted part of the land, disregarded by all and the one that makes the surrounding ugly wherever it grows.

And for that to happen I will make sure that I keep her safe forever without her knowledge. I will be sure to make her happy without letting her know the source of it. I won't stay around here on her happy days but always be by her side on her bad's. Even if I am a no good person for my own self, I will make sure that I am always an acceptable human around her.

I won't try and be a better person for her as what people say,

But will surely be the best one because that is what she deserves!

I promise.

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So here is chapter 16th I hope you like  it. I just wanted to reflect what Jade has been feeling and his new profound determination to make Valarie's life better.

Let's see how that goes......

Please Vote.Comment.Follow it would mean the world to me. 

Love you and Stay Safex

Hansika🤍

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