Kira

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Mika: *turns light (pun intended) off while sneezing*

Light: *walks in like a boss* Ohhh shittt don't tell me Mika's playing Hide and Seek again!

Light's: *turns on*

Everyone: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Mika: I've been sick for the past few days so I wasn't able to update but anyways, Happy birthday idiot!!!! *throws Death Notes at him*

Light: *smiles*

Mika: Oh yeah, Kira, give this to Ryuk *throws a shit lot of apples at Light*

Light: *gets hit* Ouch! But thanks!

Misa: Misa is gonna give Light the best gift ever!

Light: Really? (Please say that she'll kill L)

Misa: Close your eyes for Misa

Light: *closes eyes*

Misa: *tries to kiss Light*

Mika: Shit that's disgusting my virgin eyes *kills Misa*

Light: Aww I wanted to see my gift from Misa!

Mika: Wanna get kissed by the Bitchato?

Light: *walks away*

Mika: Oh yeah, curse this fucking fever so die all of you except my friends

L, Light, Matsuda, SPK members, Near, Watari, Soichiro and other police members: *dies*

Misa: *dies again then decomposes*

Mika: And that is the right way to kill a bitch! *bows*
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