Fight (a Naruto reborn fanfiction)

💀🥀 VI 🥀💀

She stands in the middle of the arena, breathing heavily. There's applause coming from all directions but she can't hear it. There's blood on her hands, blood of a child. She just killed a child and she doesn't regret it. It was him or her and she chose herself. But was it the right choice? She feels so dirty and helpless.

Her father says something but the words don't really register in her brain until a few seconds later. She strides out of the arena, head held high but inside, she feels like a part of her died together with the body back on the sand.

The next two days go by like a breeze. She's on autopilot, always deep in thoughts and blames herself. It's a rabbit hole she's falling into but she can't bring herself to stop. She will have to do this again. She will have to kill again if she wants to be a shinobi and if there's one thing she would call a dream of hers, it would be that.

She uses the time she has to mourn the kid she killed. She won't have time for that in the future. On the third day, she has another match. It's over quicker, this time and as her eyes fall onto the corpse of the child she killed, she feels okay. Not fine, far from that, but it doesn't hurt nearly as much as the first time.

She has to learn to separate her job from her private life a bit. She never learnt how to do that before because her parents wanted her too always be 'professional'. It didn't matter much back then, because her job was basically her whole life back then anyways, but she knows that that won't work here. So, she trains.

It takes her two months to completely shake off the guilt she feels when killing. It's one of the largest obstacles she has encountered and now that she has beaten it, she feels like she could do anything. She has all the clan-techniques memorized, has efficient ways to grow her reserves and finetune her control of chakra and a sufficient amount of strength.

There is no one foolish enough to approach her is what she thinks, but she is wrong. There's a boy, around two years older than her who won't leave her alone. He's a slack off, one of the worst in the academy her clan provides for the more normal kids but he's still alive. It's because his grandfather's a very influential elder who has some sanity left.

He likes his grandson enough to keep him from dying. And in spite of herself, she thinks of him as a friend. It's a waste of time, a voice inside her whispers, you will leave and never see him again. Why be his friend? He could never be strong, not with his talent and attitude.

She always objects to the last part because Lee had no talent with ninjutsu as well and he was one of the strongest. The situation regarding father and her brother grows worse every day. She will have to flee soon, without a doubt.

It's autumn, two weeks before Himari has planned her escape. They have a large-scale battle with another clan that day, the Hoshigaki if she remembers correctly, and she will use the chaos to run away. She has carefully mapped out the area and knows the exact way into safety.

 There are other preparations she has made, like buying storage scrolls, weights and a ton of kunai and shuriken. She has read as many books as she could and even stolen a few. It's not like anyone but her goes to the library if they don't have to.

She goes to the place she usually meets with Kinoshita, her friend, but instead of said boy waiting for her like he normally does, there is fighting. Well, it's less fighting and more of a slaughter. They are killing her friend. The person looks up and Himari is angry, so, so angry.

Her father stands over the dead body of her friend. (It's what I told you see, he's dead. You killed him.) She feels her powers increase with her agony but she is still too weak. To fucking weak to fight against fa- this man and have even a chance of winning, especially now that her chakra is occupied with her eyes.