Fight (a Naruto reborn fanfiction)

🩸🥀 XXIII 🥀🩸

I'm sad lol. And instead of crying it out or talking about my problems with someone like a healthy person would, I was like... "Yeah, I can use that in my story!". Sorry if this chapter is sad beacuse of this btw, complain about that to the root of all evil: my latin teacher. Jkjk.

On another note, I made a cutout pigeon yesterday. It's basically a square and so cursed. I love it.

Anyways, have fun trying to decipher this nonsense.

________________________________________

Himari gets better quickly. Her internal injuries are a thing of the past thanks to the healers' watchful eyes.

She feels melancholic. Lashing out. Seeing one of her loved ones dead. He's not dead. It has all happened before. Orichimaru might not have died there, but a piece of her has. Although, calling any piece of her lovable is just not something in the realm of possibilities.

She hates herself for not noticing how distracted he truly was. If he saw her, he would probably thank her. The thought makes her sick. She does not deserve his gratitude; does not deserve the attention she receives from any of her friends.

She doesn't do friends, usually. But she thought that maybe, maybe, this time would be different. The mental image of her parents chastising her for such foolish thoughts flashes through her mind. She has not thought of them for years. The Kaguya, yes. But her other parents, Harry and Elisabeth, no.

She thought that she had moved on. A foolish notion. Her eyes darken as she remembers her pact with the phoenix. For someone usually described as noble and selfless, it sure makes her life a lot harder. Its whims are sporadic, nothing to do with the 'greater good' it apparently strives for.

Because fairy tales are too good to be true, and she is yet again reminded of this fact. She stares at the white walls of the medical tent, taunting her, waiting for her to go insane, spray the world in colours that her heritage would approve of.

Himari has fully recovered. A message reaches her. She is to scout out Kumo, see what their stance on the war is. How the land looks like. Their human resources. Their Jinchuriki. The mission is rated SS+. Solo. Nearly no information provided.

She has waited for this to arrive. The Hokage has caught wind of her rampage, and he is punishing her for it. For scaring the troops, for affecting the morale. It's suicide. Himari takes it with gratitude. After so many fuck ups, she does not deserve to live. He's not dead.

Mortality is a subject that she is very interested in. Orochimaru always talked about theories regarding it to her, about how to stop aging, to preserve mind and soul. She knows he will never truly succeed, not when he fails to understand a part of the bigger picture.

Death is everywhere. For every power in the universe, there is one of equal power against it. From physics to psychology, this law is omnipresent. For life to be created, one day, there must be death. Like a phoenix rising from its own ashes.

Himari laughs at that allegory. She's come in contact with these unbendable forces more than most ever will. Dying at a young age. And like the phoenix she has come to despise, she too rose from death. Forced to pay tribute for the privilege of life, in form of sacrifices. Taking a life at just five years old.

Witnessing the death of her best friend, hearing about her brother, killing her mother, sending her father into certain death. Her life has been a tragedy. She has struggled for so long to resist the pull. The whisper that was always in her head, her blood. Death, trying to get its bony fingers on her.

Although, death is not something one can grasp fully unless experiencing it. Humanity tries to give it a face, as the grim reaper, a skeleton in black robes, a black mist. It is futile. Nothing can describe the emptiness, the all-encompassing wholeness. Every contradiction in the book. Happiness and sadness, relief and struggle, everything and nothing.