Too much

4: Now you know

Star's P.O.V.

I will just have to tell Billie another time. A part of me was glad that they interrupted but another part of me was irritated because I had just worked up enough courage to tell her. It was hard enough just sitting there with the words caught in my throat and now Billie is expecting me to tell her something. "How are you really feeling Star?" Claudia pulled me to the side and asked. 

I gave her a sheepish smile and gently rubbed her hand that was on my shoulder. "I'm fine. Really." I say. She shakes her head and says, "I know that you're not fine. You don't have to lie to me. You can talk to me." I don't know what came over me but her words broke down the last bit of confidence I had in me. I leaned into her and that emotional river started flowing. She held me tight and shushed me. "I got you. You're okay." She whispered over and over into my hair.

---

I let out a long sigh. I started to feel slightly dizzy from all the crying. I stopped crying but my eyes were still watery. "Honestly Claudia, I don't feel good. At all. I feel drained. I feel disgusting. I feel ugly. I am embarrassed. I am ashamed. And above all, I'm confused and lost." I say as I fight back the urge to cry again. Claudia pulled me back and looked into my eyes. Her own laced with concern.

"Why would you feel that way. You're so pretty. Shoot, you're past beautiful. No words can explain how gorgeous you are inside and out. And what are you ashamed of?" I took a deep breath and smiled a little. "Promise me that you won't think of me any less." She nodded her head quickly, her eyes confused. "I would never." "I'm...I'm pregnant." Her face goes through a whirl of emotions and then her eyes light up.

"Oh, my goddd. No way. Star this is so exciting. Why would I look at you any less? Being a mom is an amazing thing. Why would you be ashamed of that? I'm gonna be an auntie? Oh my god. Did you tell Billie?" I chuckle a little from her excitement then I shush her because Finneas and Billie are in the kitchen. "I was gonna tell Billie but then you guys came and I guess I'm just worried what my parents and everybody are gonna think. I mean I am only 18."

"That's true but technically you're grown. And your parents shouldn't think of you any less. And I'm here for you. Billie is here for you. We're all here for you. And having this baby is a miracle. There isn't a big chance that Billie could impregnate someone. I'm sure Billie will be happy. And don't down yourself. Having a child is stressful but you are not ugly and you don't need to be confused because I'll help you every step of the way." A big smile creeps its way onto my face and I give Claudia a tight hug.

"Thank you so much." I mumble into her shirt. "Of course. You're like a sister I never had." I get up and wipe my face. "Well now besides me, you're the only one who knows. I expect you to keep it to yourself until I'm ready." I say jokingly even though I was serious. She giggled and said, Of course. You're secret is safe with me. But have you thought of names? Oooh, we can go shopping for baby clothes-" I cut her off by laughing and shushing her. "First of all I don't even know the gender yet and secondly how about we talk more at my appointment tomorrow?"

She nodded eagerly and squealed. "Wait I get to go with you?" I smiled and nodded. "Oh my gosh, I can't wait. What time?" "I'll call you at 3." She nodded and we both went into the kitchen to join finneas and Billie. "What's got you so happy?" Billie asked Claudia. "Nothing. Nothing at all." Claudia replied but of course not without squealing from excitement again. She turned to me and winked and I chuckled and shook my head. Finneas and Billie looked at each other then between us and it was like they were talking with their eyes. Billie just shrugged and smiled. Happy to see that I was happy.