Too much

2: Can I come in?

Billie's P.O.V.

Over this past month, Star has been acting differently. At first, I thought she had her period and was just stressed about school but it's more than that.  It makes me frustrated and angry that she won't talk to me. I want to just hug her and tell her it's going to be okay. I don't know how to help her. She won't let me in. Not in her room or her head. I let out a long sigh. "What's wrong?" CeCe asks.

Me and her have been hanging here and there. Sometimes talking about Star and other times just chilling. I pick at the frizz on my sweater. "Nothing. Just thinking about Star." She sighs and nods. "I have never seen her like this before. It has to be really bad if she won't even tell me about it." "Yeah. I just wish she'll let me make her feel better. Or at least try." CeCe nods and rests her head against the couch. "She'll tell us when she's ready." she said.

I was so tired of hearing that. When she's ready. It wasn't enough for me and she didn't seem like she'd ever be ready. Everybody always said it was fine just to make me feel better but I didn't need them to sugarcoat it because I knew in my heart that it wasn't fine. "I'm gonna go over there." CeCe raises her eyebrow. "Again? Billie you know she won't open the door." I shrug and put my shoes on. "We'll see. Are you coming?" She shakes her head. "Maybe tomorrow." I nod and grab my keys.

She put her shoes on as well so she could leave. As we walked downstairs finneas asked, "Where are you going?" "To see Star." He sighed and said, "You sure Billie? I don't want you to be upset if she doesn't let you in." I take a deep breath and nod. "It doesn't hurt to try right?" With that, I leave and make my way to her house.

---

"Oh hi, Billie." Mrs. Matthews greets me as she answers the door. "Hey, Mrs. Matthews." "Here for Star again?" I look down and nod. "I'm so sorry honey. I don't know what's up with her lately. She stays in her room all day, every day. Nothing goes in and nothing comes out." "It's okay. Even if she doesn't let me in, I'll still talk to her." She nods and moves aside so I could come in. 

I clutch harder on the bag of tacos I brought for her as I slowly make my way to her room. I stopped at her door and stared at it. I hesitated before knocking. No answer. As expected but that doesn't stop me. I knock again. No answer. "Look Star, I don't know what's wrong with you but we can talk about it later or whenever you want. Right now I just want to see you and hug you and plant cute little kisses all over your face. I also brought you food." I smiled a little thinking about how cute she is when she laughs at every little thing that comes out of my mouth.

No answer. "We can pretend you haven't been in this room for a week and we can just hang. We can just cuddle while I comb your hair with my fingers and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. We just eat and enjoy anothers' company." My voice breaks and I swallow the lump in my throat. I stare at the ceiling to keep from crying. "Please." I say barely above a whisper. My eyes grow wide when the door swings open.

Her eyes are red and puffy and tears are pouring onto her cheek. Her hair is in a messy bun and she has on an oversized shirt. I immediately engulf her in a tight hug. I let out a long shaky breath as I feel her in my arms again. I've missed her touch. Her warmth. The feeling of our bodies molding together. I can't hold it anymore and I start to cry. I bury my face further in her hair so she wouldn't notice but she does. "I'm s-sorry." she whispers between sobs. 

I hold her tighter and shake my head. "It's okay baby. Don't cry. You're okay." She just cries harder. "God I've missed you so much." I take in her familiar scent. We stay in that same position for what felt like hours before we let go. I pick her up and close the door then I go and sit on the bed with her in my lap. I grab her face in both my hands and kiss her passionately. It lasts for about a minute before we pull away for air. I've missed her lips. I miss everything about her.

I pull her back slightly and wipe the tears from her eyes. "You brought food?"  she asks in a raspy voice. I laughed loudly at her comment. She let out a small broken laugh. It hurts me to hear her sound so broken but I promised we wouldn't talk about it. "Yeah here." I open the bag and give her a burrito and two tacos. We reposition ourselves so that I'm up against the headboard and she sits in between my legs with her back to my chest.

She eats in silence. I don't really focus on eating as I watch Star's every detail. She seems hungry because it doesn't take long for her to eat her food. "You want that?" She points to my burrito and I shake my head while smiling. "No, you can have it." She smiles wide and takes the burrito. I hand her the sprite that I bought and she hesitates before she gulps it down. She is so cute and precious. "Can't believe you opened the door." I said after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah, I couldn't hear you like that. It made me sad." she says quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't wanna make you sad." "Oh no. I didn't mean it like that. Plus I miss you." "I miss you too." I whisper. There was a short silence after that and then out of the blue, I heard Star sniffling. ¨Hey baby whatś wrong?¨ ¨Am I ugly to you?¨ I quickly turned her around and held her face in my palms. ¨Of course not baby. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Well besides myself.¨ She laughs a little and wipes her face.

¨Why would you ask that?¨ She sighed and buried her face in my neck. ¨I just feel ugly and disgusting and miserable and-¨ I shush her and hold her tightly to my chest. I rub her back as she lets all of her emotion flow out of her. She was just fine. I don't know what made her think that way about herself. ¨Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. You're perfect and you're beautiful.¨ I mumble into her hair. ¨Don't ever say that okay?¨ She nodded.

I comforted her until her breathing steadied and I knew she was asleep. I laid her down on the bed for a second so I could get in a more comfortable position. As soon as I lay down, Star cuddles into me. I smile and hold her close to me as if somebody was gonna snatch her away. She was so precious and innocent. I might wife this girl one day.

Very emotional, to say the least. The next update will probably be Tuesday, maybe earlier. Hope you guys are enjoying it so far. Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas. Anyways bye guys. I love you all.