You'll Never Be Whole Until You Lose Control- Spencer Reid

13.) trying your luck

And I've lost my page again

I know this is surreal

But I'll try my luck with you

This life is on my side

Oh I am your one

Believe me, this is a chance

-trying my luck, the strokes

TW://This chapter has GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS of ANOREXIA and BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER.

Spencer

Leaving her felt like leaving a part of myself behind.

My mind replayed her cries, pants and breathless callings of my name in perfect crystalline recall. The softness of her sweet, honeyed skin beneath my lips. Her fingers in my hair, holding on to me for dear life. The way her eyes glittered and fluttered as she came undone under my touch, and how eager she had been to please me too. My innocent doe with her big eyes, shaking and quivering in the bright headlights of my desire.

But she had power over me that she wasn't fully capable of knowing yet. I would give my existence into her small, deliciously warm hands.

She had cast a spell over me, electricity exuding from her finger tips. She was as beautiful as a goddess and as magickal as the moon; she ruled my tides and kept me on an axis, stopping me from spinning out of control into oblivion.

I was a fool to underestimate her.

"Hades isn't all bad, you know," she had said as I parked in front of her apartment, her hand on my thigh that I held on to tightly.

"You're quite observant, little one," I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, impressed that she had noticed the Greek mythology book on my coffee table.

"And you're not all bad, either, Spencer."

Kissing her then had tasted so bittersweet.

"Well, someone took their sweet time getting here," Alvez said as they all looked up at me.

I adjusted the strap of my messenger and hustled to the empty seat of the squad room, "sorry, I was in the middle of something."

Something was the understatement of the century.

As I laid awake in my bed at the hotel room, I found myself replaying those images in my mind, wishing her hands were touching me instead of my own. Thinking of her body, the creamy curves of her stomach and thighs, wanting to lose myself in her... hold her down on my bed and fuck her so hard until she believed she me when I said that was the most beautiful girl in the world.

She was a diamond in the rough, and I wanted to cut her into the most brilliant, shining gem.

No one compared to Anna.

The notification that I had a text message on my phone brought me from my reverie, and when I saw it was her, I smiled to myself- an action I hadn't done much in the last year.

Only to see that it was a photo of her getting ready for bed, the top of her white lace bra peeking out from a pink fuzzy bathrobe, hair cascading over her shoulders down to her waist. I could clearly see the imprints of my teeth along her throat, which made my skin flush. Her big green Malachite pendant rested perfectly in between her supple breasts. I noted how she held the fabric of her bathrobe over her stomach tightly, and barely showed any skin yet it still turned me on like no end, 'something to tide you over with.'

'Hasn't anyone warned you about how dangerous it is to send photos like this, little girl?'

'Whatcha gonna do about it, Dr. Reid?'